Page 36 of Secrets and Lies
“What?” He shoots me a sharp look. “Why would you say that?”
“Something about your tone makes it seem like you believe he wouldn’t be happy if you were the one who broke the record.”
He huffs out a bitter-sounding laugh. “He’d never shut the fuck up if it was one of my brothers who did it, but he’d find a way to make it a bad thing if it was me. He’d probably be pissed that I managed to do something he couldn’t do.” He shakes his head, like he’s breaking himself free from his thoughts. “But whatever. It’s not like it matters because no one with half a brain would ever put me in charge of anything.”
“You don’t think you’d make a good leader?”
“Hell no.” He snort-laughs. “I can barely keep my own shit in order. Only a moron would give me any sort of responsibility over anything important.”
“I think you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“You do?” He shoots me a surprised look, and there’s something about his expression that tugs at something deep inside me. Beneath the shock is something soft and seeking, and there’s a sense of vulnerability that I’m not expecting at all.
I’ve known West for three years now, and I’ve been messing with him for just as long. But in all that time, he’s never looked at me like that, and I’m not sure what to do with it.
“Yeah,” I say, not liking how thick my voice sounds. “And I think you need to stop listening to whatever assholes are telling you otherwise.”
“That would be pretty much everyone I’ve ever met,” he says with a self-deprecating smile.
“Then pretty much everyone you’ve ever met is an asshole.”
“You sure that math is mathing?” He tosses me another smile, only this one has genuine humor behind it. “How can everyone else be wrong? Wouldn’t the law of averages mean that I’m the problem?” He scrunches his nose up for a few seconds,like he’s thinking really hard about something. “Is that how the law of averages works? Or am I mixing it up with another math thing?” He shrugs. “Either way, my point stands.”
“Does it?” I pull open the door that will take us back to the main lobby.
He shoots me another confused look and steps through the door. “Yeah?”
I follow him through the door. “I don’t think it does.”
He shoots me another of those soft, seeking looks that hits me deep in the chest. “Really?”
“Really,” I say as we walk down the quiet hallway together. “The world is full of assholes who will do anything they can to tear you down, and there will always be people in your life who are only there because they’re waiting for you to fail. As long as you know that, you can protect yourself against them and their influence. And going into any given situation already assuming that everyone in the room is an asshole until they prove otherwise is a way to do that.”
He chews on his lip, and I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he processes what I said.
“But then again,” I say as we come up to the door that will take us into the main lobby. “Sometimes all you want from someone is an asshole.”
West does a lurching double-step as he either trips over his feet or stumbles on nothing, and I toss him a quick look over my shoulder. “Catch ya later, partner.”
Ping.
I swipe my phone up from where I tossed it on my bed and check my notifications.
A smile spreads across my lips when I see it’s from the messaging app Liam coded for me.
I spent most of the break contemplating what I should do about the video I accidentally took of McKenna cheating on West, and after going back and forth, I decided to tell him—after I had some fun with it.
I normally don’t give a shit what people do if it doesn’t directly affect me or anyone I care about, and that includes what they do in their relationships.
If people want to cheat on their partners, then whatever. That’s their choice, and their personal business has nothing to do with me, so why would I get involved?
It’s the same reason I stay away from campus drama, and why I try not to get involved in the petty drama that goes on at the house. Not my business, not my problem. Staying neutral and avoiding conflict has always been my MO, but that seems to go out the window when West is involved.
Rather than even attempting to unpack that thought, I settle against my headboard and open his text.
West: why are you doing this?
Anthony: doing what?
