Page 39 of Secrets and Lies
West: simple?
Anthony: yes
West: who are you?
Anthony: someone who asked you a question
West: and if I don’t have an answer for you?
Anthony: then I’ll wait until you do
West: what if I never have an answer for you?
Anthony: then I guess I’ll be waiting for a long time
Anthony: you have my number when you decide what you want to do.
I send my text, then send a winky face just to be annoying
West: asshole
Anthony: guilty
I wait to see if he has more to say, then toss my phone onto my bed when it’s obvious he doesn’t.
That was way more fun than it should have been, and I’m not sure what to make of the fact that I hope that’s not the end of things because I’m not done with him yet.
7
WEST
I’ve never been soaware of my phone as I have been since that weird as hell text exchange went down last night.
After getting that message from my old number, I spent the rest of the night trying to think about anything other than those texts, so naturally, they were the only things I thought about.
I barely managed to get through dinner without anyone noticing that I was a million miles away, and I spent the entire meeting zoned out and not listening to a single thing that was said. In fact, the only part of the meeting I actually remember is when they announced next year’s leadership team.
My cheeks flush as the memories of walking back to the lobby with Anthony come flooding back to me.
That was…unusual. We may have been frat brothers and lived in the same house since first year, but we’re not really friends, and that conversation is the longest one we’ve ever had.
But beyond it being strange because we were talking at all, it also felt completely natural, and I forgot to second-guess myself or freak out that I might be sending my very straight frat brother some mixed signals that could get my ass kicked.
I even found myself making cracks about my dad when I never talk about him to anyone other than Damon and McKenna. And I still have no idea why I felt so comfortable while I was talking to him, or why I let my guard down without even realizing it.
Then I went back to my room, and instead of unpacking or getting ready for school to start up again, I spent hours pacing around and trying not to spiral into a panic attack.
All that confusion and pent-up energy triggered my impulsive side, and after hours of freaking out and working myself up into a mental frenzy, I went against my better judgment and texted that asshole back to try and figure out what he wants or what his endgame is. But instead of giving me answers or any sort of mental clarity, that exchange messed with me more than I want to admit.
I’m one of those people who can get along with pretty much anyone as long as we stick to small talk and don’t go beyond polite chatter. I’ve learned how to network and schmooze with the best of them, but I’m hopeless when it comes to having real conversations with people.
I get too intense too fast and say things that make people uncomfortable because I end up being too honest for a surface-level conversation. I also have a really bad habit of oversharing, and my filter disappears when I’m nervous, so I’m always putting my foot in my mouth and saying things I wish I could take back.
I’m also terrible at reading social cues, and I don’t always realize when people are trying to change the subject or end the conversation entirely.
One of the best ways I’ve learned to deal with that over the years is to let the other person, or people, do most of the talking. I can’t overshare if I keep my mouth shut, and it’s easier to justlisten and go along with things. The path of least resistance and all that.
But even with my gift for small talk, I’ve never had a cold conversation with someone I’ve never met flow that easily before, and I almost forgot why we were texting in the first place.
