Page 88 of The Secrets We Hide
“Too accommodating,” Emmy said. “Too deferential. Too apologetic. Too silent. Not Clifton-silent. Silent-silent. Like you’re waiting for the ax to fall.”
Jude said nothing, but her guard was so high that she could barely see over it.
“At first, I thought that’s just how you are, but you’re not any of those things. Are you?”
Jude was grateful for her sunglasses so she didn’t have to look Emmy in the eye. She was so clever, her girl. From the moment Jude had stepped foot back in North Falls, she had been terrifiedof saying or doing the wrong thing and being sent away—not by the town, but by Emmy.
“You don’t owe me anything. You never wronged me. I never even met you until right now.” Emmy was studying her. “What I’m saying is, it’s been six weeks, but I feel like you’re just now showing me yourself as a full person.”
Jude knew she was being offered an opportunity. Long-ago habits resurfaced: deflection, denial, distraction. “Did Woody’s alibi check out?”
Emmy didn’t answer immediately. Jude found herself holding her breath. She had built her professional career off predicting behavior, but she had no idea what Emmy was going to say next.
“Yes.”
Jude slowly released the breath.
Emmy clearly noticed, but she showed unprecedented kindness and kept talking. “Woody was in Dekalb County at the time of the shooting. That doesn’t mean he didn’t get one of his thugs to do it, but my gut is telling me it’s not him.”
Jude had difficulty swallowing past the lump in her throat. “One name off your list.”
“Could you get a read off Lee Rawley when I asked him about Clayville PD?”
Jude rummaged in her purse for a tissue. “No, but it was a good question to get out there.”
Emmy waited for her to dry her eyes. “I’m trying to follow the clues, but I’ve got this voice constantly whispering in the back of my head that tells me Reggie is a part of this.”
Jude asked, “Do you think he’s the shooter?”
“I think he’s got a strong motive. I’d bet my paycheck Allison tried to rat him out to the FBI alongside Dad. If any cop in this town is on a Giglio list, it’s Reggie Wilder. You saw him yesterday. He’s got a temper. He hates being called out on his shit. If he’s not the shooter, or he didn’t send somebody to kill her, then he’s definitely wrapped up in the reason she was trying to leave.”
Jude tried to tread carefully. “And Bill?”
“Well, that’s a good question. There’s a broker in town who handles insurance for North Falls people. I called her while youwere on your little walk. Asked her if Allison had any policies. She checked the national database.”
Jude noticed that her sarcasm felt more like teasing. “And?”
“Allison had one policy worth two hundred grand that she took out sixteen years ago when Mandy was born. Mandy’s the beneficiary, and if Mandy isn’t around to collect, all of it goes to the battered women’s shelter at the church.”
Jude nodded her head in respect. It was a good piece of detective work. “How long was Allison with Bill?”
“They were married six years, but they dated for four years before that.” Emmy added, “And if you’re gonna ask me who she dated before Bill, I don’t know. Allison and I knew each other to say hey, but we weren’t close back then. I never met Mandy’s father. Allison never talked about him. She told Sherry that Mandy was her reward for enduring a stupid mistake.”
“At the risk of repeating myself, if a woman has one abusive asshole in her life, she usually has another.”
“Bill’s definitely an asshole,” Emmy said. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to take Lee Rawley’s word on his gambling debts. The Garrisons have a lot of money. They wouldn’t let Bill get into that kind of trouble. Especially if Mandy was getting pulled into it. They’ve known her since she was six years old. Bill’s Facebook page has hundreds of pictures of Mandy with his brothers and their kids on vacation and holidays and all that kind of stuff. She was part of his life.”
“Abusers are very good at presenting a happy image to the world. They don’t just groom their victims. They groom the people around them. That way, when the victim comes forward, no one believes them.”
“Yeah.” Emmy went silent for a moment. “I keep thinking about how lonely Mandy must have felt. You heard what Skylar said. Living with that knot in her stomach about Allison. She couldn’t sleep. Bill wouldn’t even let her eat without his permission. Mandy felt like she couldn’t talk to her friends. She clearly couldn’t confide in Allison. She was trapped. And now she really doesn’t have anybody.”
Jude heard echoes of Emmy’s own situation—not just with Myrna, but with Jonah.
“Anyway.” Emmy shook her head as if to clear it. “I called Valerie Wilkinson, too. She’s going to bring Talia to the station at six. Couldn’t get her to come any sooner. She told me she didn’t notice any packages at the house addressed to Mandy, but she works at the office three days a week. It’d be easy to hide some deliveries. I need to find out more about this UnSub Talia saw with Mandy. After talking to Skylar, it’s clear Talia knows more than she let on.”
“It would make sense that Mandy was targeted by another abuser. Children establish learning models from witnessing violence at home. They mirror the behavior of their caregivers, adopting secrecy patterns, absorbing blame, experiencing the same intense anxiety and fear in anticipation of violence. Abuse becomes so normative that they can often seek or even find comfort in repeating patterns.”
“Okay.” Emmy was clearly trying to hold back a comment about yet another lecture.
