Page 68 of Hunted By the Guardian
But what could she say? By the way Laura was looking at her, Violet could tell that any comment at all would be opening the door to an argument, and she didn’t want that. Maybe if she remained quiet, they would be able to enjoy their dinner with at least a modicum of civility.
Laura turned to Violet’s father. “You told me that she would not be coming back,” she said bitterly. “Wasn’t that the promise? No more of her?”
So much for civility.
Violet’s father sounded very tired. “What do you want me to do about it, Laura?”
“Turn her out!”
“She’s my daughter.” He was devoid of any affection. He said it the way a person might talk about a pest living inside their walls that they hadn’t been able to rid themselves of, but knew they had to take responsibility for. “You know that people will talk if I throw her out on the streets.”
“Put her into a convent, then,” Laura snapped. “That’s where someone like her belongs. Surely you can see that.”
“And what convent would take her?” Violet’s father asked. “Do you think she’s the sort they want? Especially now that she’s been living with that man all this time…” He shook his head. “She’s spoiled herself.”
This was more than Violet could bear. “What would you have had me do, Father?” she demanded. “It’s clear that you don’t want me to be back here. You wish I’d stayed away. So when I found that a man was going to be living in the house that was meant to be mine, what should I have done? Should I have turned around and come straight home to avoid spoiling myself with the appearance of living together with that man? Forced my way back into your home? Tell me, what would you have had me do to solve the matter? Where did I go wrong?”
“Well, you should have figured something out,” her father said. “You should have found a way. The option you selected was completely unacceptable, and you know that. You ruined your reputation. Now the only thing I can do is allow you back under my roof, because there is truly nowhere else for you to go.” He sighed. “Laura is right. It ought to have been a convent right from the beginning. But I was far too soft with you, just as I have been all your life. I put too much thought into what you might want instead of what was best for everyone.”
“You really believe you have been too soft with me all my life?” Violet couldn’t help laughing. “That’s a jest, Father. You have never been kind.”
“Violet, I advise you to control your temper,” her father said sharply. “You may have spent time away from home, but you would do well to remember who you are speaking to. I am still your father. And as Lady Trevet has pointed out, I do have the power to turn you out of this house. You ought to be grateful for the fact that I’m allowing you to stay here at all.”
Unfortunately, he was right about that, and she knew it. He did have the power to put her out on the streets.
But she didn’t believe he would do it.
If he had really wanted to do that, he would have done it already. He wouldn’t have let her come back into the house at all. He certainly wouldn’t have bothered standing up to Laura when she had insisted that Violet ought to leave. Violet’s father knew that he couldn’t afford the scandal of sending her away. And she was too tired to play along with this, to cater to his need to feel powerful and in control of things.
She sat back in her chair. “You aren’t going to throw me out,” she told her father.
He raised his eyebrows. “Won’t I?”
“No. It’s just as you said to Laura. You don’t want the scandal of it. You’re many things, Father, but you aren’t a fool, and that’s why you’re going to allow me to stay.”
“You may find that my priorities change if you don’t show me the respect I deserve,” he growled.
“And you might find that you deserve that respect less than you think you do,” she countered. “I left your home thinking I had been provided for, because that was what you told me. You said that I had a place to live. I think that was the only reason you were ever comfortable throwing me out in the first place—because you believed there was somewhere for me to go. And not only did that fall apart completely, but you didn’t even bother to try to discover what had happened to me. You didn’t even ask after me. There was never a visit to my new home, never a letter to check on how I was doing. Nothing.”
“I’m sure you didn’t long to hear from me,” he scoffed.
“I longed for a different sort of father.” Her voice was brittle. “I can imagine a father I would have wanted to hear from. It’s true that you wouldn’t have been welcome if you had decided to reach out to me. But it’s easy to picture a father I would have liked to hear from. I wish you had been that man.”
“Don’t speak to your father that way,” Laura snapped.
Violet ignored her altogether. “If you had involved yourself in my life,” she said, “if you had cared about what was happening with me, you would have been aware of the fact that I was at risk of losing the house. You wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that I was living with a man—you would have known. If you didn’t like that, you could have helped me make a different arrangement. But that’s not who you are, Father. That’s never who you were. All you cared about, ever, was that I not be your problem. You sent me away so that you wouldn’t have to think about me anymore. And the thing you’re angry about now is that you can’t forget you have a daughter and start all over with your new wife. You’re angry that your past still exists, even when you don’t want it anymore.”
Her father glared at her. “Leave the table,” he said. “If you can’t behave yourself any better than this, you can eat your dinner in your bedroom.”
It wasn’t the punishment she was sure he believed it to be. She picked up her plate in one hand and her glass in the other. “I’ll be happy to do that,” she said, her voice cool. “With luck, you and I can avoid seeing one another as much as possible.”
“I just don’t know where you get the nerve to speak to me this way. If I did decide to throw you out…” He trailed off menacingly.
But Violet was not intimidated. If he did that, she would go to Agnes. It was not something she wanted to do, for she hated the idea of imposing on her friend. But she’d do it if she had to. She wouldn’t be on the streets.
If I really needed to, I could even go back to Jonathan. The idea made her flinch. She didn’t want to do that. But it would be better than not having a roof over her head at all. If that was what it came to, she would do what had to be done.
Still, her best option was to stay here. She started to leave the table, to go up to her room and spend the rest of the night in peace, but she was interrupted by a knock at the door.
