Page 34 of Hunted By the Guardian
But this house…he had dreamed of it, had been captivated by it, for so long. No, he didn’t need it, but could he really let go of it just like that?
I could. But I don’t want to.
He got to his feet and walked over to the bookshelf. He had been unable to concentrate on his book anyway, so he put it back. Then he went to the window and gazed out into the inky darkness.
A moment later, he felt her presence by his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“What are you sorry for?” He didn’t turn to look back at her, not yet. He waited to hear what she would say.
“I think I upset you,” she said. “I think something about that story bothered you, and…well, I worry you think I’m manipulating you now. That I told you that so you would give me the house. I hope you know I’m not being dishonest.”
“I didn’t think you were.” He sighed. “And you told me that story because I asked to hear it. It’s that simple. I know it is. I don’t think you’re trying to manipulate me.”
“But you do feel something because of what I said.”
“I’m not as cold as you’ve accused me of being,” he murmured. “Not at all. Of course it makes me feel something I hate to even think about you being forced out of your home, Violet.”
There was a long silence during which the words Violet wasn’t saying aloud hung heavy in the air. He wondered whether she could hear them as loudly as he could.
You’re about to force me out of my home again. That was the thing she wasn’t saying, the thing Jonathan was sure they were both thinking.
And it cut him like a knife.
He swallowed hard. “Violet,” he said, “You know…however this all turns out, I have grown to care about you. I hope you know that. I don’t want to see you all alone in the world with nowhere to go. So if I end up keeping the house, I’ll make sure you’re provided for. I won’t send you off with nowhere to go. I’ll see to it that you have enough money to find somewhere else to live—somewhere safe and nice where you can be happy and live the life you want to live.”
She opened her mouth quickly, and Jonathan was momentarily sure she was going to snap back. To remind him that the life she wanted to live was here, and that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of her that easily.
But she hesitated, closing her mouth briefly, and when she did begin to speak, it was in a much softer tone than he had anticipated from her.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“You’re accepting?”
“I’m thanking you,” she said firmly. “Don’t take it as more than it is. I’m not giving you the house. It’s mine. I’m still determined to stay here and to raise Noah. But…it does ease my worry to know that you wouldn’t allow me to be put out on the street.”
“No,” Jonathan agreed. “That’s one thing you truly should not worry about. The rest of it…all right, we’ll figure it all out. But you shouldn’t fear being left with no place to go. I promise I won’t let that happen. Whatever else might happen between the two of us, whatever might happen with this house, when the dust settles you will have a home. I promise that.”
Her head dropped, and for a moment, he thought she might be crying. But when she looked up again, her eyes were dry, though her face was serious.
“Thank you,” she said. “I’ve been worrying about this. I don’t think I realized just how much I had been worrying, but I have. I…I’m upset about losing the house, I’m upset about the possibility of losing Noah. But beneath all of that was this other worry, this fear that I would be left with nowhere to go. It helps me more than I can tell you to know now that that isn’t going to happen.”
Her voice, her eyes…they were so sincere. He had never seen her look so vulnerable and open before. She beamed up at him, and for a moment, he couldn’t help himself—he reached up and tucked a lock of loose hair behind her ear.
She froze, her eyes going wide. But only for a moment. Then they fluttered shut, and she curled her head to one side, leaning into his touch. Did she recognize that she was doing that? Had she meant to do it? And if so, why?
He didn’t know, but the thought of withdrawing his hand was more than he could bear. He froze too, right there, heart hammering, her skin smooth against his fingertips, her breath warm and quick on the inside of his wrist.
What am I doing? What am I thinking? This is dangerous.
He released her and took a quick step backward, needing distance between the two of them. Her eyes flew open when she felt the loss of contact, but she said nothing. She continued to watch him, as though something might be made clear to her.
He didn’t know what to say. It was minor, to be sure, but he had crossed a line here. He had told her that there would be no crossing of lines, no scandal, that he would behave like a perfect gentleman. And he hadn’t done that.
Maybe I don’t wish to be a perfect gentleman. Maybe I don’t like that idea anymore.
And for the first time, Jonathan allowed his daydream to go a little farther.
What if he did more than just wishing and yearning when it came to Violet? What if he allowed her to become more than just an idle fantasy? He hadn’t done that so far because he had been so sure she was leaving soon, and because she had driven him mad. But standing here in front of her, all he could think about was how he didn’t want her to go.
