Page 38 of Hunted By the Guardian
“All right.” Noah was still allowing giggles to slip out. “I’m very sorry.”
“Do you mean that? Stop laughing, Noah. I need to see that you’re taking this seriously,” she said firmly.
He pressed his lips together and managed to stop his giggles. “I mean it,” he said. “I didn’t know it would upset you. I am sorry about that. And I hope you manage to get the tomato juice out of your dress, Violet, truly I do.”
“And you won’t do it again?” Now she did try to make her voice more severe. She wasn’t sure her message was landing with the strength she intended it to. Though she didn’t dare to look over her shoulder and see, she imagined Jonathan was also laughing at her, and the idea of it made her stomach churn.
“I won’t do it again,” Noah said, composing himself. “I promise I won’t.”
There was something about that promise that made her feel uncertain, but she didn’t know what it was. “All right,” she agreed after a moment’s hesitation. “Go on out to the garden and see if you can help them clean up after that mess.”
Noah nodded and trotted happily out the door, as carefree and light-footed as if he was just running off to play.
“You call that a scolding?” Jonathan asked, stepping away from the wall and toward Violet. A smirk had bloomed on his face, and Violet turned away—she’d known that he was laughing at her, and she didn’t want to watch him do it.
“I said what I needed to say,” she told him. “I think he’ll remember this.”
“Do you?”
“He promised he wouldn’t do it again,” she said defensively.
“Yes, and I’m sure he won’t,” Jonathan said. “I’m sure you will never see him leave a bucket of tomato juice out like that again. But is that really the promise you wanted from him?”
“What do you mean?”
“He wasn’t going to try the same thing twice anyway,” Jonathan explained. “I don’t think you made any real progress by getting him to agree to that—his next prank would always have been something fresh, something he could shock you with. Or shock someone else with,” he added, and she wondered suddenly if he might be the target next time.
If Noah does it again and does it to Jonathan next time, it will be my fault for failing to teach him that he shouldn’t. And then I’ll have to admit that I really do need Jonathan’s help in raising him. That maybe Jonathan is even better suited to the task than I am…
She hated the thought of it. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about it longer than was strictly necessary. “I think he understands that I was talking about pranks in general,” she said.
“Then you don’t know what little boys are like,” Jonathan said frankly. “If you really think he’s going to follow the spirit of the law when you’ve handed him such a convenient loophole, you don’t know how far boys will go to get out of behaving as they should. I’m sure he ran out of here so quickly because he didn’t want to run the risk of you realizing your mistake and rectifying it.”
She scowled. “You’re very quick to label my attempt a failure,” she said. “In spite of the fact that it’s only just concluded, and we don’t really know what the result will be yet.”
“Well, I hope I’m wrong,” he said. “I hope that does have the effect you wanted it to. But I’m here to tell you that I don’t think it will. I think it’s only a matter of time before he tries something like that again.”
“You ought to stay out of it,” Violet said sharply. “What happened today is between me and Noah.” She was still wearing Jonathan’s jacket, she realized—she pulled it off, walked over, and thrust it at him. “I wish you hadn’t gotten involved in it at all,” she said tartly. “It would have been better if you had never found me out there.”
“I was just trying to help,” he told her. “And I’m still just trying to help. I know that you think you don’t need any help, Violet…”
She shook her head and turned away, holding up a hand to forestall any more words from him.
It wasn’t that she didn’t need help. She probably did, and if she was being honest with herself, she could admit that.
After all, she had never taken responsibility for a child before. She had never tried to be a parent before. She wanted to be capable—clearly, Aunt Margaret had believed she could do it. But she hadn’t been expecting this, hadn’t prepared for it, and she was afraid of making mistakes.
But she couldn’t have help. That was the real issue here.
She could have the staff. They would guide her, tell her where she was going wrong. But Jonathan…no. She couldn’t have him. She couldn’t wish for him to be a father to Noah. Because as much as she wanted Noah to have that…there was no world in which both of them would get to stay here for very long. And the closer they each got to Noah, the more it would hurt him when, eventually, inevitably, one of them was forced to leave.
And Violet couldn’t help thinking to herself—it will hurt me that much too.
CHAPTER 21
“Honestly, Georgina,” Violet said, “it just feels so good to get out of that house for a while. I have to thank you for being willing to come along with me.”
“Of course.” Violet’s lady’s maid beamed at her. “I’m excited about the prospect of going into town. It will be a good thing to help you select some new gowns.”
