That thought sent my pulse into a frenzy, and I grew hard again. How was I supposed to get any sleep with that image in my head? Sinking down onto the cushion, I spread the blanketout over me and squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to go to sleep. It was a long time before sleep came, and when I finally drifted off, I only dreamed about one thing.
The woman sleeping just a few feet away.
CHAPTER TWENTY
JASMINE
The next morning, things were tense between Gabe and me. He was quiet and distant, and I feared I’d ruined everything by pushing him too hard. Still, he seemed relieved when I decided to withdraw from my race. Much to my chagrin, he’d been right about my need to sit this one out. My ankle felt even worse than it had the day before, and I had to come to terms with missing one race to preserve my ability to compete in the rest.
At my request, we’d stayed to watch the other barrel racers, cheering them on as they fought for the top spot before packing up and heading back to the ranch. He seemed to relax a bit on the drive home, but the usual banter that accompanied our conversation was scarce, and we didn’t sing at the top of our lungs when our favorite songs came on.
Returning home was bittersweet. I hated that my alone time with Gabe was over, but at the same time, it was a relief not having to fight the unrelenting desire that came with being in his proximity nearly every second of the day. The tension was almost suffocating at times. Sometimes, when he was near, I couldn’t catch my breath, and my heart rate shot into a gallop. It kept me on edge, but I’d never felt more alive.
Watching him now did something completely different to my heart. It warmed and swelled at the sight of him working with Nash. He’d trained with my baby brother every day this week after their morning chores. And every morning, I’d snuck a glance at them from anywhere I could: my bedroom window, the front porch, and now from the large bay window in our living room. I had my ankle propped up, just like I’d been instructed, my body angled so I could watch the activity down at the barn and in the training ring.
Nash, who’d barely spoken to any of us in months, seemed completely at ease with Gabe. It probably helped that Gabe himself wasn’t the type to engage in idle chatter. He was intentional with his words and didn’t feel the need to fill the silence with small talk. He wouldn’t push or prod and try to get Nash to open up, unlike my dad and brothers who were alwayschecking inwith him. That made Nash shut down instantly. Gabe would simply hold space for him and let him open up in his own time.
There was a steadiness to Gabe that put you at ease, something I’d experienced firsthand when I sprained my ankle. He stayed calm while he carried me out of harm’s way and treated my injury. He was gentle and patient even when I gave him a hard time. Despite being in pain, he’d made me feel safe and secure. I hoped that was what he would do for Nash too.
We were all hoping Gabe could connect with Nash and help draw him out of this never ending cycle of grief and self-destruction. The only thing he loved almost as much as Audrey was bull riding. He was as passionate about it as I was barrel racing, and he had the potential to go all the way to the top. If he could just stay out of trouble and stop self-sabotaging long enough to compete regularly, he could have an amazing career.
“How long are you out for?” I turned to find Jacek walking toward me in his navy firefighter uniform. He was about to headin for a forty-eight hour shift, but stopped to have breakfast at the main house and drop off Asher. Asher’s mom was working another extra shift at the hospital, so I got to hang out with my nephew today. If he wanted to go outside, Mom or Dad would have to take him since this sprain slowed me down significantly, and he was faster than anyone with legs that short had a right to be.
“They said to stay off it for a week and see how it feels,” I replied with a shrug.
“Well, how does it feel?”
“Like it’s sprained,” I replied just to irritate him.
“I know that, smart ass. I mean, is it getting better?”
“Yeah, it’s about seventy percent healed. Should be good as new by Saturday.” That was probably a stretch. I’d most likely be able to walk on it by Saturday, but it definitely wouldn’t be one hundred percent better. It wasn’t a bad sprain, but it was enough to slow me down and keep me from going about my business as usual for several days.
“That’s fantastic news,” an elated female voice called from the doorway. I looked up to find my grandma standing there, the newspaper tucked under her arm and a sly smile on her face. “I’ll need you to take me to my knitting club on Saturday.”
“Y’all never meet on Saturdays,” I said, narrowing my eyes in suspicion.
“We might be just a little behind on our project for the Honeysuckle Festival auction,” she replied sheepishly. I snorted a laugh.
“Too many boozy brunches, eh?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes. “I told you, I knit better after a few mimosas. It loosens me up,” she claimed, rolling her shoulders for emphasis. Jacek’s shoulders shook with silent laughter, and I kicked his shin with my good foot.
“What if I already have plans for Saturday?” She gave me a flat look like the concept of me having plans was utterly ridiculous. It irked me that she assumed I wouldn’t be busy. I realized I didn’t have much of a social life once races started, but she didn’t have to call me out like that.
“I already know you don’t have a race, and it will be early enough not to interfere if you want to hang out with your girlfriends or hit up the bars.”
I had been invited to go out for drinks Saturday night, but hadn’t given my answer yet. I told my friends I wanted to wait and see how my ankle felt, but in reality, I was waiting to see if Gabe would change his mind about riding lessons. He’d told Rory I wouldn’t be able to do them this weekend with my sprained ankle. After I saw the doctor Monday morning, I assured him I’d be fine by Saturday and could still give her lessons, but he’d been adamant, refusing to even bring her to the ranch.
Still, I was holding out hope that he’d see how much better my ankle was and relent. I missed her. She was a good kid, and we always had fun together. But I also missed Gabe. We hadn’t spoken since returning Sunday evening since I hadn’t been able to do any work on the ranch. Much to my disappointment, he hadn’t needed to come by the house for anything either.
The sound of my grandma’s leather-clad toe tapping on the floor shook me from my thoughts. She was waiting for a reply.
“Fine, I’ll take you, but only if you promise not to play matchmaker.”
“I wouldn't dream of it,” she said, pressing a hand to her heart as if she wasn’t the ringleader of the find-Jasmine-a-man circus.
“That goes for your sisters too. I’m not interested in any cockamamy plans y’all cook up to try to marry me off.” I wasn'tsure why these ladies were so obsessed with playing cupid, but it always ended in disaster.