Page 177 of Knox Academy Omnibus
“You been watching Challenge again, sis?”
“I’m addicted to your crappy 90s tv shows,” I reply. Gladiators, featuring men in unitards, may just be my favourite. Hence the famous referee impression.
“Well if you think that’s good, wait ‘til you hear our 90s duet song,” Slate quips.
“Ok, Kalen, ready? 3...2...1...GO!” He doesn’t need telling twice, shooting off like a rocket, his trolley waving wildly as he dashes down the central aisle and disappears from view. I wait a beat before telling the twins they can go.
Unsurprisingly, Onyx races off after Kalen, catcalling and trash talking him while Slate hangs back.
“You not playing?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m playing. But half an hour is plenty of time. I just wanted to say thanks.”
“What for?”
“The opportunity.”
“To humiliate yourself? Anytime.” I laugh.
“For a stab at forgiveness. You won’t regret it.”
Before I can reply, he leans forward, lightly kisses my cheek and takes off after his brothers.
I can’t fight the grin on my face, or the flutter in my chest, as I leave Tesco and head over to the pet store.
Half an hour – and a hell of a lot of money later – I return to the store and see the three brothers all waiting for me by the checkouts. They all have stupid grins on their faces and I can tell they’ve had a really good time. They also look extremely pleased with themselves.
“Me first!” Onyx demands, dumping his three items on the conveyor belt to be rung up by the cashier.
I walk to the end of his till to see what he’s picked up and the cashier’s gaze flickers between us all.
“Shhhh, she doesn’t know,” Onyx tells the cashier with a wink. She rings up his items, and I bag them while he pays. Black bin bags, bleach and a hacksaw. No wonder the poor girl looks uncomfortable. “It shouldn’t take too long, she’s only little. By the way, what time do you get off tonight?”
She immediately turns white and I call him an asshole, dragging him away so that Slate can pay.
“You were supposed to embarrass yourself, not terrify her!” I snap. Onyx steps back up to the till and apologises to the girl.
“Sorry. I’m not really going to hack anyone to pieces, I’m heavily into Cock and Ball torture and I thought we’d mix it up a little tonight. Makes a change from nailing them to the wall, you know?”
I snort, like that’s so much better and hip bump him away again.
“You go next, Slate!” Kalen insists. “We have to save the best for last.” Slate shakes his head at his younger brother and punches him on the arm as he passes. He quickly unloads his trolley and we watch the cashier for her reaction. She does a bit of a double take, but doesn’t say anything as she scans through a dog shock collar and lead set, a fly swat and the biggest damn cucumber I’ve ever seen.
“Do you think the swat will leave welts?” he asks the cashier in a creepy, breathless, excited sort of voice.
“I think you need something sturdier for that.” I struggle not to laugh as she shakes her head no, completely serious.
“Ooooh, like what?” Slate asks, fascinated.
“A belt? Or a crop...or a whip or something. We have some canes in our garden section. But I don’t think you should be hurting animals.” She frowns as if the thought just occurred to her.
“The collar’s for me.” Slate grins. “I’ve heard pegging can be amazing if done right, but I don’t trust myself to stay still.”
Her jaw hangs open in shock and my laugh breaks free this time. The cashier goes red and hastily completes her transaction with Slate. We move to the side for Kalen’s turn.
“My turn now!” Kalen grins as we try to recontain our laughter. He proudly places his items on the belt. I watch with a raised eyebrow as the cashier scans a bottle of hot sauce, an indoor cactus plant and a box of glow in the dark condoms.
“Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough, right?” he quips, winking at the cashier who looks absolutely mortified. “It’s mybirthday and my sister here said I could have anything I wanted. Voila.” He spreads his hands wide in front of his bounty and grins. “I wanna be fucked in the ass by my sister with a cactus dildo coated in hot sauce.”
