Page 62 of Shadow's Surrender
“She liked him—appreciated what he did for us … but love? Nah. She sold herself for the only person she loved unconditionally—me.” Shadow turned away and looked at the jagged mountain peaks, wishing he could jump on his bike and ride hard and fast into nothingness.
Scarlett drew his hand to her mouth and kissed it. “Your mother sounds like she was quite a woman.”
“She was.” The raw ache inside him twisted brutally.
“My mother’s love has always been conditional at best.” Her voice trembled slightly.
Shadow pushed aside the pain and laced her fingers with his. “I was lucky. So … are we good here? What do you need from me right now?” He stroked her knuckles with his thumb.
“To hold me,” she whispered.
In less than a heartbeat, Shadow was at her side, drawing her into his arms. Scarlett tilted her face toward him, and dipping his head down, he pressed his mouth to hers and kissed her gently.
“We got differences, babe, but we can either work with those or not,” he said against her lips.
“I know. What … uh … do you want to do?” she whispered.
Shadow laid her head on his shoulder as the question echoed in his mind. What the hell did he want? The truth was that he’d never felt this way with any other woman, but he wasn’t sure if Scarlett was on the same page. Warren had been surprised to see her with him and that pissed Shadow off a bit. Hadn’t Scarlett said she was going to tell the jerk it was over?She obviously didn’t say shit. Is she playing both of us?But in his heart, he didn’t really believe that. When they were together, Scarlett was with him all the way; unless she was a cold-hearted manipulator, he didn’t think she could fake the warmth and passion that emanated from her every time they were with each other.
“It isn’t a trick question,” she said.
Her voice brought him out of his thoughts, and when he looked down at her, tenderness andloveshone in her eyes, and a pink flush accented her chin and cheeks. A crazy mix of emotions tore through him—an alchemy of possessiveness, tenderness, and something else that made him uncomfortable. Shadow’s world had crashed the night he’d lost his mother, and since that moment, he’d put up barriers around his heart … his feelings. Scarlett was weakening those barricades, and she threatened to knock them down, but he wasn’t ready to let them go … he wasn’t ready to open his heart all the way.
“We’re just getting to know each other. Let’s just roll with that,” Shadow said.
Scarlett broke away from his embrace and scooted away until she plastered herself against the wall. “That’s a noncommittal answer.” A dry laugh fell from her lips.
“That’s the best one I’ve got right now,” he replied as he slid out of the booth and resumed his seat across from her.
The waitress came over to the booth.
“Who gets the enchilada?” she asked.
Shadow pointed at Scarlett. The server set the plate down in front of her.
“And the steak sandwich must be for you,” she said, putting it down in front of him. “Anything else?”
Shadow shook his head as he reached for the steak sauce, and she glanced down at her food. She ate in silence, the only sound coming from her fork scraping the plate softly.
“I want you to know that you’re the only woman who has stirred some feelings inside me.” He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed while thinking about what he was going to say next. “What I know is, that I like you, a lot, and I want to keep seeing you. I got some dark shit from my past eating away at me most of the time, but when I’m with you, I feel good … happy. I just don’t know if I can give you what you deserve. Until I can get straight with my past, I don’t know if I can let …” Shadow didn’t finish the sentence because he didn’t want to admit to Scarlett that he was already falling for her and it scared the hell out of him. The thought of losing her made him resist opening his heart to her.
Scarlett met his gaze for a moment and then looked down at her plate.
“Okay … I’ll considered myself warned.” She smiled weakly, then took a bite of her dinner.
Shadow squirted ketchup on his fries then sprinkled a generous amount of salt on top of them. “Did you decide to get the apartment?” he asked.
“I did. I wished you could’ve seen it.”
“The pictures you sent me looked totally cool. It’s the right decision.” He popped some fries into his mouth.
“I told my dad that I decided to move. He wasn’t too happy about it, but he understood. My mom has been trying to guilt me over it, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to sign the lease tomorrow morning.”
“Do you think that jerk’s gonna tell your parents about seeing us?”
“No, but he’ll tell his father, who will then tell my dad. I should be moved out before the fireworks go off.”
“What’s going to happen when they go off?” He sucked in a breath.
