Page 63 of Animal's Reformation
Chapter Fifteen
Animal sat atthe kitchen table and leaned back in his chair, watching his mother dice carrots for dinner. The window was ajar, and an early spring breeze rustled the maple leaves outside and carried the sweet scent of wildflowers mixed with pine.
He picked up his mug of coffee, took a drink, put it back on the table, and stretched his legs out. His mother threw him a sidelong glance but never stopped chopping the pile of vegetables on the wooden cutting board.
“Whatcha got on your mind?” she asked, picking up three stalks of celery.
Animal drew the mug to his mouth again without answering her.
“I know you got something on your mind. You didn’t come over here to watch me make beef stew. Is something going on with Lucy?”
“Lucy’s okay. I’m worried aboutyou.”
She turned toward him. “There’s no reason for you to be worrying about me.” She laid the knife on the board, reached into the pocket of her housecoat, and took out a pack of cigarettes.
“Why the hell do you have an online profile on a dating site calledDiscreet Passion? The name alone is bad enough.”
“You were snooping? It’s none of your business what I do. Does that sound familiar? It should—you’ve told me that a couple of thousand times over the years.” Smoke rose as she drew on her cigarette, her gaze fierce and challenging.
“I wasn’t snooping, and what you do that affects the familyismy damn business. What the hell’s the matter with you?” Animal looked through the doorway to the family room and saw his dad sitting in the wheelchair, his head supported by his arm, which was rested on the end table. The way his head hung down to his chest, it was obvious that he’d fallen asleep.
Animal tipped his head in the direction of the family room. “And what about Dad?”
His mother threw back her head and let out a deep, throaty guffaw, then she lifted the cigarette to her lips, took a drag, and slowly exhaled, the smoke drifting up through brown eyes the color of sun-dried beechwood.
“If you’d talked about this with your dad, you’d have known that it was his suggestion that I go out and look for a little fun.”
A sudden coldness hit his gut, and Animal jerked his head back, words failing him.
“Does that surprise you?” Again, she laughed way too loudly and glared at him. “You don’t know shit.” She stubbed out the cigarette and turned away from him, then began chopping again.
The rhythmicthudof the knife hitting against the wooden board was the only sound in the kitchen. Animal ran his gaze over his mom as he tried to understand what she’d just told him. He couldn’t believe that his dad would let his wife openly screw around with other men. Maybe it was because his dad thought of himself as less of a man because he’d lost his legs in the war, or maybe it was because he was no longer interested in anything sexual.Dad knows?The question kept running through his mind like he’d hit the rewind button on a tape recorder.
His stared at his mother. She was an attractive woman with dark brown hair to her shoulders and very well-fit. At fifty-five, she had maintained herself nicely, and always took the extra effort to dress and look good before she left the house. Animal suspected that most men would find his mom—Rena Walsh—to be quite pretty.But you’re married to Dad … and he’s okay with you whoring around?Anger clouded his mind, and regret stabbed his heart. He hated thinking ill of her, but all he could remember was how going out with her friends, getting her hair and nails done, and shopping took precedence over him and Jada when they were younger.
“So you don’t feel guilty at all?” Animal asked, breaking the tense silence between them.
“Not anymore.” Rena pivoted toward him. “I never thought my marriage would be like this. Before your dad went to Iraq, we had a wonderful and thriving marriage, but he came back broken in so many ways. His legs were gone, but so was his spirit, his desire, his will to adjust. I could live with his disability, but how do I repair a shattered soul? It was real tough for a long time. You were too busy with your club to notice or care, and Jada was still a teenager.”
“So you’re puttingthison me?”
Rena placed her hands on her hips, a scowl deepening the lines between her brows. “You weren’t around very much, that’s all I’m saying. I was overwhelmed and you weren’t around.”
“Andyou werewhen I was young?”
Redness crept into his mother’s face, and Animal could hear her breath through her flaring nostrils.
“Don’t give me that shit! I did the best I could. You weren’t the easiest kid to raise.”
“Dad didn’t seem to have a problem with it.” Memories of his father’s kind patience filled his mind.
“I was always the bad parent when it came to you and him. Did you ever once try to understand what I was going through?”
“Being out all day with your friends and Dad having to cook dinner after a long day at the plant was kind of a clue to me that you didn’t give a shit.” Animal lifted one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “Maybe you didn’t like boys—Jada says you were a little better with her.”
“You ingrate,” Rena gritted.
“Yeah … I could say the same about you.” Animal held up his hand to halt any retorts his mother may have. “This is going nowhere—you and I have never gotten along. I just want to make sure you’re not hurting Dad. If he’s down for you strutting around town like a …” he caught himself before he said something he’d regret.
