Page 8 of Christmas Wish
“I’m not sure. I need time to think.”
“Please believe me when I tell you that Bret wants you back. Remember how hard life was for our family when you were young? It still is, except for the help you give us now. Your dad’s income as a butcher and mine as a school cook made for real tough times back in the day when all four of you were young, but I had your dad to lean on. If you don’t go back, you’ll be a single mother, and it won’t be easy.”
“I did just fine before I married Bret. I’d gladly forgo my Coach purses, Cartier jewelry, and Manolo Blahnik shoes to have a loving marriage. I’ll do fine, Mom.”
“I wouldn’t be too hasty. Just take a few days and think about it.”
“There’s nothing to think about.” She walked to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of orange juice and poured some in a glass. “I’m tired of living in a loveless marriage and watching him ignore his son. I’m done. It’s that simple.”
“Are you still pleasing him? It sounds like maybe he’s mad because you don’t want to have … you know …sexwith him,” her mother said in a hushed voice.
Clenching her hand in a fist, she bit back the words she wanted to say. “It’s hard to have sex with a husband who doesn’t want it anymore … at least with me.” She heard her mother cluck her tongue.
“You two should go to counseling. Many marriages have survived an affair. Remember Linda and Sean Doyle? She found out he was having an affair, and it almost broke up their marriage. Linda told me that it was a long road and a lot of work, but eventually, she trusted Sean again. That was ten years ago, and Linda tells me their marriage is better than ever. I’m just saying for you to think good and hard about throwing twelve years away. There is life after an affair.”
“You sound like a promo for a Dr. Phil show.” She took another gulp of juice. “How’s Dad?”
“Worried sick. He’ll be glad when he hears that you and Timmy are okay. He’s still at work, on the late shift tonight. I honestly can’t believe the store decided to keep the butcher department open until ten o’clock. Now getting back to your situation—”
“I have to go. I promise to call soon.”
“Will you be back for Christmas?”
Christmas was just three weeks away, and Savannah hoped that they’d be in California or Oregon by then, but it would depend on the weather. One thing she was certain of was that she wouldn’t be home for the holidays.
“I don’t think so,” she whispered.
“Not home for Christmas? But we’ve always had Christmas Eve or Christmas day together.”
“I know, but this year is different. I really have to go, Mom. I’ll talk to you soon. Tell Dad I said hi. Love you.”
Savannah took a deep breath and pushed away from the counter, then she slipped the phone into her pocket and walked over to the banquette to sit down. Timmy’s attention was fixed on the game, and she leaned back on the cushion and blinked rapidly. Her mother didn’t know the whole story. No one did. She couldn’t tell anyone—not her sister, Jill, her cousin, Mari, or her best friend, Lacey. The scars of Bret’s emotional cruelty were hidden deep inside, clawing at her as she repeatedly fought to keep them buried. The love she’d once had for her husband died slowly with each reproach and rebuff of affection, and with every act of deliberate callousness until all that was left was coldness around her heart.
Thinking back on the day that she’d decided to leave, her skin crawled at the memory of one of the most humiliating moments of her life.
“I just got three more coins,” Timmy said, saving her from replaying that dreadful day in her mind.
“That’s great, sweetie. You have ten more minutes, then it’s bedtime. We’ll snuggle under the covers and continue with the story from last night.”
“The monster one, right?” Timmy asked, his eyes glued to the screen.
“That’s right.” Savannah moved the shade over a bit and looked out the window. The falling snow didn’t seem as frenzied as it had a few hours before, and she could actually see some of the trees in the distance.Maybe the storm is moving out and we can head out soon. The last thing I want is Ryder coming back and throwing us off his property. We’ll stay a few days in Pinewood Springs and then head out. God, I can’t wait to soak in a bathtub.She let go of the shade and closed her eyes.All I want is to start a new life with Timmy, but Corinne won’t let me do that.When her soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law had found out that Savannah had seen a divorce attorney, she made it perfectly clear that she would fight for custody of Timmy. Considering that the Carltons were one of the richest families in Massachusetts, Corinne had been appalled that Bret had chosen a woman from Quincy—a working-class neighborhood—to be his wife. Wayne, Bret’s father, hadn’t been too thrilled either, but he’d accepted Savannah and was decent to her. Corinne never did, and she took every opportunity to demean and belittle her. If Bret were around when she did it, he’d just give Savannah that what-can-I-do look and shrug his shoulders, but if Wayne were in earshot, he’d call Corinne on it every time and that would shut her vicious mouth.
There’s no damn way I’m letting Corinne dictate what’s best for Timmy. If she had it her way, he’d have a nanny and be enrolled in Grayson Boys Academy Boarding School.Her stomach twisted as she recalled the bitter argument she had with Corinne over sending Timmy to a boarding school when he turned nine. Hot streaks of anger shot through her as she remembered how unsupportive Bret had been, choosing to sit in the leather wingback chair and stare down at his phone. All he’d said after his mother left the room was that he’d gone to Grayson and it wasn’t bad at all. Savannah had wanted to throttle him.
Her heart pounded and every one of her muscles tensed up.I need to calm down. I’m getting all worked up again. I’ll never let Corinne have Timmy. We’ll flee to Australia and just disappear before I agree to that.
“Is it ten minutes yet, Mommy?” Timmy’s eyes were bleary.
“Yes. Put the Nintendo away and you can play it another time. It’s good to give your eyes a rest.”
Timmy shuffled over to the cupboard and put the game system back on one of the shelves. He went into the bathroom to get ready for bed as Savannah lowered the table and folded the cushions over to make the bed.
Soon, Timmy was tucked in under the covers, looking up at her as his eyes shone under the overhead reading light she’d switched on before turning out all other illumination. Running down the battery worried her, and she decided they’d have to start paying more attention to their electricity usage.
Savannah opened the picture book, and Timmy snuggled closer to her.
“The scratching grew louder as Kenny crept down the hall. He stopped in front of the coat closet,” she read aloud.
“I bet the monster’s in there,” Timmy said.
“Maybe,” she whispered. “His hand shook as he reached for the knob to open the closet door.” Timmy gasped and Savannah smiled, then she continued reading the bedtime story.
