Page 76 of Christmas Wish
Ryder stood up and walked over to her and drew her into his arms. Her body trembled against him and he ran his hands over her back, his heart squeezing when he heard her soft sobs against his shirt. “Shh … don’t cry, darlin’. No one’s gonna take Timmy, I’ll make sure of that. I’ll make sure I never leave you two alone. I’ll find out who this fucker is and take care of it.”
“I’d die if Timmy were taken from me. I love him so much.” More soft sobs. Sniffles.
“I know you do, and you’re a damn good mom. I won’t let anything happen.” He placed his two fingers under her chin and tilted her head back and her eyes met his. “I’ll make sure it’s all good, okay?” Savannah nodded slightly and he wiped the wet streaks from her face then pressed his lips gently to hers.
“One of the things that kills me is that Bret doesn’t even want Timmy in his life. The other is that my mom’s the one who told him where we are. I spoke to her before coming to breakfast this morning and she confessed.”
“Why the fuck would she do that?”
Savannah wiped her nose with a tissue. “Because she loves me and Timmy. She wants me to have the fairytale Disney marriage. And she wanted us home for Christmas.” Once again, she twirled tendrils of blonde around her finger. “In all fairness, my mom doesn’t know the whole story … only you do.”
As Savannah spoke, anger burned inside Ryder, and he tucked her hands in his and gently squeezed them. “Baby, I’m telling you that I’ll make sure you and Timmy are safe. No one’s gonna bully you to do something you don’t want to do. I swear that if the fucker comes back on my property, I’ll take care of him.”
A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her kissable lips. “I’ll admit I feel better knowing I have you on my side. I’m just not sure what I’m going to do.”
Ryder’s stomach clenched. “Are you thinking of going back to him?”
Savannah shook her head. “Absolutely not. I’m not going back to Boston either. I’m better off without the Carltons, and Timmy doesn’t deserve a father like Bret.”
A long pause yawned between them until Ryder let out a long breath. “Stay with me.”
Her eyes locked with his and he saw tenderness, compassion, and relief, but there was also fear in them.
“We’ve only known each other a short time,” she said.
“I know, and it’s fucking strange that I’m even asking, but I’ve been wanting a woman like you in my life since I can remember. I just didn’t know it, and it’s taken a lot of shit and pain to realize it.”
Savannah slipped her hands away from his and cast her eyes downward. “What about Brandi? I mean she’s so young—I know men prefer younger women.”
Ryder stared at her slouched shoulders; she looked so petite and vulnerable at that moment.The fucker really did a number on her.“You’re the woman I want. Brandi’s a nice girl who helped me out when I got tired of my hand doing all the work. It wasn’t like we had a romantic relationship or anything. It was just sex, and it wasn’t all the time. Maybe a handful of times in a year. Brandi’s age had nothing to do with us having sex—she was the only one who didn’t mind that I didn’t have a leg.” He picked up his coffee mug and took a sip. “I’m not a cheater—never have been and never will be. I’m loyal to a fault.” After a few seconds of silence, Ryder reached over and lifted her chin so her gaze met his. “I’m not Bret. The way he treated you and Timmy was fucking cruel, and he needs a good ass kicking for sure.”
Tears filled Savannah’s eyes. “I felt the goodness of your heart from the first day you came blustering into the trailer. I’m just afraid.”
“Of what?”
“My feelings for you.”
“I know what you mean. We’re still getting to know each other, but my gut tells me this is right. What’s yours telling you?”
“The same,” she whispered.
Silence stretched between them until the chair scraping on the floor broke it and Ryder stood up. “I’ll be right back.” He walked out of the kitchen and straight to the workroom where he took out the cigar box, and then headed back to Savannah.
The box made a small thud when he put it on the table in front of her.
“This is my past.” He sat back down on the chair.
For a second, her eyes just shifted between him and the worn-out box, then she placed her delicate fingers on it and opened the lid. She glanced up.
“Take the things out.” He balled his hands into fists and inhaled and exhaled a couple of times. “You can ask me anything you want.”
“Are you sure about this?” Savannah’s eyes stayed on his fists. “I don’t want to dredge up painful memories for you.”
“It’s about time I face the shit that’s been holding me prisoner, and I want to do it with you.”
After a slight nod, she picked up the photographs and browsed through them. Snippets of his past raced through his mind, and it seemed right that the woman who’d brought light into his life should be rifling through them—through all the darkness of his past.
Savannah cleared her throat and looked up from the last picture Dana, Colt, and Ryder had taken. It was before he went back over on what had become his last tour of duty in Afghanistan.I had no idea that was going to be the last time I saw you, Colt. I’d have told you I loved you more and held you tighter if I would’ve known.Ryder’s body grew more rigid.
