Page 99 of Carnage
“Go on. You can ask me anything.”
“Okay. I’m really curious about—no, that’s the wrong word. I want to see you work. I know you don’t want me around Leon, and I get that, but I want to know you as well as I can. I want to know what you do.”
“You know what I do, Rue.”
“I want to see it.”
“Nope. Colson doesn’t go out with Specter. Same for Pax and Wraith. The less you know, the better. If something were to evergo down and I was arrested or something, you could say you didn’t know anything because you didn’t.”
“Oh please.” He rolls his eyes. “As if you’d get arrested. You’ve been doing this for years already.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t get caught.”
He huffs, narrowing his eyes as he looks back at the cooking show on TV. “You don’t control me, you know? I could?—”
“Could what?” I snap.
He looks defiant as he says, “Whatever I want. I can do what I want.”
“You think so? You think you can bully me into taking you out on a job?”
He searches my eyes for a moment before his soften and a sweet smile tugs at his lips. “Sorry. I don’t know what got into me for a minute.”
“You’re right about one thing, Rue. I don’t control you, but I will keep you safe no matter what. It’s more important to me than I can express. So please, precious, don’t push me.”
“Would you be mad at me?”
“I’d be disappointed.”
“Oof, that’s a low blow.”
I rub his chin with my thumb. “Rue, I…” The words catch in my throat and I exhale slowly to get my mind to calm down.
“What is it, Matias?”
Fuck. When he calls me that, it feels like I’m rediscovering a part of myself I thought was long lost.
“I’m addicted to you. You’ve got me wrapped around your pretty fingers, and all I want to do is keep you safe and make you happy, and if that means I can’t let you do something you want to do, then so be it. Your safety is worth your temporary frustration with me.”
He gazes at me with bright eyes. “Okay. I understand.”
“Good.”
Rue wraps himself around me, moving down my body until he settles between my legs. I tangle my fingers in his hair as he takes me into his warm mouth. My eyes flutter and my body relaxes into the mattress. This is heaven and he’s my pretty angel baby.
I’ll do anything to keep him, and I can only hope that somehow, someday, my heart will understand what love is and give it freely. Until then, I’ll do what I can to make him happy.
CHAPTER 22
Rue
I wakewith Carnage’s soft cock resting in my open mouth. Sucking dick is way better than sucking on a stuffie. Last night was so much fun. We traded blow jobs, and even though I thought I could stay awake longer, I gave in and fell asleep before he could rail me, but hopefully that means he’ll do it today.
There’s a little bruise on his thigh from where I sucked his skin. It’s been less of an urgent need lately to suck on something while I sleep, or maybe it’s just the calming effect of having some part of Carnage’s body in my mouth. Either way, I’m sleeping better than I have in a long time.
His phone buzzes on the nightstand, but he doesn’t even stir. I let him fall from my lips and scoot up to grab it to see if it’s urgent and I should wake him up. There’s a group chat on the screen called Murder Buddies, and I snort a soft laugh. Really? At least they have a sense of humor about it.
The phone is password protected, but then I remember he told me it was the date he changed his name, so I type in the numbers, hoping I’ve remembered them correctly. When itunlocks, I swipe the screen to read the messages, just to see if something is urgent.
