Page 75 of Carnage
“I think so. He’s been through some shit too, he just carries it differently.” I exhale slowly. “He wants to be involved when I take out Leon.”
Shadow raises an eyebrow. “Involved how?”
“I don’t know. Present, at a minimum.”
“What do you think about that?”
Shrugging, I lean back in the chair. “I get it. I’d want to see it too. But Leon is sketchy, and now he knows what I’m willing to do. I need to keep Rue safe.”
“You’re not out here alone, Carn. We’ve got your back, and that means we’ve got Rue’s too.”
“I know. I’ll figure it out. First I need to lure Leon from the shadows.”
“If anyone can, it’s you.” He leans forward on his elbows. “I’m happy for you. You deserve love.”
“It’s not like that yet.”
“Maybe not, but it could be, and that’s good. Love doesn’t have to be this scarce resource, only reserved for the best of society, right?”
“Right. By that logic, that means you deserve it too.”
He chuckles. “Touché. I’m good though. I’ve got everything I need.”
He’s lying and I know it. His voice is tinged with a deep sadness that gnaws at my heart for him. Shadow is like the big brother I never had, and he deserves happiness as much as anyone.
“What about…” I stop myself. “Nothing.”
His jaw twitches as he tilts his head back. “I’m fine, Carnage. Bellamy is…” He sits up, fixing his gaze on mine. “A friend, I think. We’ll get there.”
I’m shocked he brought him up, but he must have known that’s where I was heading.
“And Stealth?” I bravely ask.
“What about him?”
“Your connection is… different from the one you have with the rest of us.”
He nods, but his expression is blank. Never play poker with Shadow. He’s impossible to read.
“It is, but it’s not anything.”
“You could, you know. If you wanted to. I know you have rules, but none of us would care.”
He narrows his eyes. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Shit. “Nothing, boss. I was just saying… if you and Stealth?—”
“If me and Stealth what? You think we’re fucking?” He scoffs. “Come on.”
“I didn’t say that. It just seems like there’s more between you.”
“Not like that,” he snaps, clearly defensive. “Why do you think that? Am I treating him differently than the rest of you? Doyou think my judgment is skewed when it comes to him? Is that what you guys think?”
I hold my hands up, shaking my head. “No, Shadow. Not at all.”
“Then what?”
“Dude, it’s not negative. We just want you both to be happy, and if that’s with each other, it’s cool. We wouldn’t want you to not pursue something because you were worried about how we might react.”
