Page 73 of Carnage
“Anything. Something. I don’t know what to call it, but I know it’s tangible. I want to protect you, avenge you, touch you.”
He holds my gaze as he speaks, so intently that I feel the urge to look away, but I won’t let myself.
“You’re unique, Rue. Special. I’m probably not even close to being good enough for you, but I’ll try. I like how I feel around you. I feel… human.”
A smile tugs at my lips as I reach up and brush my fingers over his cheek. “I think you’re amazing. You’ve endured so much and yet you still have the capacity to care for people. You love your brothers. I know; I can see it. And I’ve never felt safer. You’re worthy of me, Carn. You’re worthy of anything you want.”
His expression brightens a bit. “It doesn’t bother you that I am what I am?”
I shake my head. “No. I guess I see you as so much more than just that piece, but even when I think about it, when I saw the video tonight, I thought you were… magnificent.”
His eyebrows rise. “Is that so?”
“I’d like to see you in action. When you find Leon, I want to see it.”
His jaw twitches slightly, but he nods once. “Potentially. If it’s safe for you.”
“I’m always safe with you.”
I watch his expression darken. “You have to understand something, Rue. I won’t lose you the way I’ve lost other people. It’s not happening. So if it’s not safe, you won’t be there.”
“But—”
“No. I understand the desire, the need, to see Leon suffer, and I want to give that to you, but not at the expense of your safety. Do you get that?”
I nod. I’m slightly frustrated, but after what he just told me, I’d be selfish not to understand. “Okay.”
“Okay.” He kisses my nose. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“Everything. Being brave enough to reach out to me that night in the club, being you, listening to me. I’ve never told anyone that story except Shadow. It felt good to let some of it go.”
“That’s what I can be for you. A soft, safe space. Even tough hit men need that sometimes.”
“For too long. I’ve needed you for too long.”
“I’m here now.”
“And you’re staying?”
“Yes.”
He closes the space between us with a soft kiss, and as I wrap my arms around his shoulders, I wonder if we could ever fall in love. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Maybe, for once in my life since my mom died, everything is going to be okay.
CHAPTER 17
Carnage
My phone buzzes,interrupting this peace with Rue. I told him everything last night and it felt fucking amazing. As much as I wanted to stay awake all night talking, we let ourselves give in to sleep. Waking up with him wrapped around me is nice.
The phone buzzes again, and I grumble, rolling over to grab it. It’s Shadow.
Shadow: Are you busy? I need a quick job taken care of and you’re the ideal man.
Me: I’m available. What’s up?
