Page 52 of Carnage
“And?” He bounces. “Tell me what happened?”
“He wants you back.”
“He does? I figured he wouldn’t really care that much.”
I have a decision to make. Be honest with him or hide the truth? I hate to be the guy to burst his bubble of innocence, but maybe the truth is better. He needs to know how bad it could’ve been.
“Listen, Rue, it was worse than you thought. He sold your virginity to someone he wants to do business with.”
Rue’s face goes blank for a few seconds, then his eyes fill with tears. “What?”
“The… party was still going to happen, and the plans were essentially the same, but it wasn’t him who was going to be the one to take you. Not first, at least.”
“He told you that?”
“I got it out of him while we negotiated. I used his desperation to get information. He said he spent almost a year looking for an adult male virgin, and then he met you.”
“Oh my god. I walked right into his web. I’m so stupid.”
“Babe, I told you how I feel about that.”
“Come on, Carnage. I am. How did I not see what a horrible person he is?”
“How could you? It’s not like he was wearing a sign that said ‘rapist’ on it. A lot of people are good at hiding how fucked they are until you’re already in deep.”
Rue’s lips twist and his nose twitches until tears flood his eyes and stream down his cheeks. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
I hold one of his hands while he angrily wipes away tears with the other. “I can’t live like this anymore. You have to help me. Or maybe I should just leave Mistone. I’m not cut out for a city like this.”
I’d argue with him, but he could be right. “When this is all over, I’ll help you. If you want to leave town, I can help with that too.” Rubbing his hand, I continue. “I’m sorry. I know this is upsetting, but I wanted you to understand the reality. There are a lot of men like him in cities like this.”
He nods, sniffing. “I’m glad you told me. I need to learn. I’m happy I found you.”
“I’m happy you did too, but, Rue, listen to me. I’m not a good man either. I’m just not the same kind of bad Leon is.”
He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “That’s not true. You rescued a stranger and brought him into your home, took care of him, made him feel…” His voice cracks. “Feel seen and valued. You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve ignored me or dropped me off at a train station and sent me on my way. Instead you’ve disrupted your life to help me. That’s not what bad people do.”
“I kill people, Rue. Don’t romanticize me.”
He nods, brushing his hair behind his ears. “I don’t know you well, obviously, but from what I’ve seen, your job is not all you are. You’re warm with your brothers and you’re amazing with me.”
“I compartmentalize when necessary, but I don’t want you to forget what I am and what I do. I want you to see me as a whole.”
“I do.” He pauses. “I have a confession to make.”
“Okay.”
“When I saw you last night, beating up that guy, it made me feel funny.”
“Funny?”
He nods. “Not sexually turned on, but, like, turned on just the same. I thought it was weirdly exciting. I thought you were a badass.”
“Is that so?”
“I’m not afraid of you, Carnage, because I know you wouldn’t hurt me, and I think it’s cool that you hurt people who hurt people. They deserve it, and justice and karma don’t always get the job done. If you don’t intervene, how many more people will Leon hurt? What would’ve happened to me?” He squeezes my hand. “You haven’t scared me off.”
