Page 112 of Carnage
“Do you feel good when you finish a job?”
“Good?”
I tilt my head up. “I guess the better question is how do you feel when you take someone’s life?”
He shrugs. “I don’t feel much. Sometimes I do if I’m familiar with a situation. Tonight, for example, I felt damn proud.” He brushes his fingers under my chin. “Are you processing what happened?”
I nod, running my hands down his broad chest. “It seems like I should feel something more… dramatic, I guess, because I literally killed someone.”
“And you don’t feel anything?”
“No, there are emotions. Just not the ones I expected. I feel happy, relaxed, relieved. I don’t have to look over my shoulder anymore, and Leon can’t hurt anyone else ever again. That feels good because I’m sure I wouldn’t have been the last victim.”
“Unlikely, but you’re not a victim, precious. You took charge of the situation even though it was risky. It’s impressive as fuck.”
“Thank you.” Shaking my shoulders out, I exhale and let the smile I was holding in bloom. “I’m proud of myself for being a fighter.”
“I’m proud of you too. I can’t believe I’m the lucky asshole who gets to love you.”
Biting my bottom lip, I search his eyes. Love? “Do you mean that?”
His gaze softens and he nods. “I admit I’m still not a hundred percent sure what love looks like or even feels like, but I know that how I feel about you has to be love. I’d take a bullet for you, Rue. I want to give you the world because you deserve it. Our life won’t be traditional at all, but if you’ll have me, I’ll do anything to make you happy. I promise.”
My eyes sting with tears and as I blink them away, I wrap my arms around him. “I love you, Matias. Like you said, I don’t know shit about love, but I know this is different. It’s… more.”
Carnage closes the tiny space between us to claim my lips in a kiss hotter than the steamy water around us, and I practically melt into him as my body responds. He reaches behind him and shuts the water off before hoisting me into his arms to carry me dripping wet to the bed.
We fall into bed together, laughing through our kiss, but the playfulness quickly fades away as he grinds his cock into mine. I dig my fingers into his shoulders, exploring his mouth with my tongue as he does the same to me.
“Are you gonna fuck me?” I mumble against his lips.
“Is that what you want? Or do you want to try it the other way?”
I break the kiss to look into his eyes. “Fuckyou, you mean?”
“Yeah. If you want to try it, I’d let you.”
“Oof, that’s sexy.” My stomach flutters as I consider the idea, but honestly, I can’t even picture it. “But no, I’m not ready to try that.”
“That’s okay.” He kisses the edge of my jaw. “We’ve got the rest of our lives.”
Reaching up, I drag my fingers through his curly hair. “So then you’re gonna fuck me?”
He nods, his heated gaze burning through me. “I sure am, precious.”
And he does. Sometimes sweet and slow, hitting every part of me in torturous strokes, sometimes fast and hard, pounding into me so roughly I move across the bed. We hold each other’s gaze, and all I can think about is how lucky I am to have found him, how amazing he is, how gorgeous, and damn, this man loves me.
And I love him. So I tell him. Again.
“I love you, Matias.”
He moans, his brow creasing as he steals a kiss. “I love you. Fuck, it’s incredible to feel like this. It makes the sex even better, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I bury my fingers in his silky hair again, marveling at the way he looks at me like I’m something special, something valuable, something to be cherished. “I’m gonna come soon.”
“I know. I can tell from the way your body clenches around me.” He slides his hand between us and grips my cock, stroking me slowly. “You’re so sticky and hard and you smell like fucking heaven.”
“I smell like you.”
