Page 27 of So Close to You
Seraphina stands motionless, her eyes wide.
Nerissa studies her closely and feels something devastating as she realizes that, even exhausted and disheveled, that woman still has the power to turn her entire world upside down just by breathing.
“I risk my dignity every time I open the door for you at two in the morning, knowing that by six you’ll leave me feeling as if none of it ever happened. Empty and without any hope,” Nerissa continues, her chest rising and falling heavily.
Seraphina’s eyes fill instantly with tears.
“Don’t say that…” she murmurs, shaking her head.
“Why not? Because it makes you feel guilty?” Nerissa lets out a bitter laugh that echoes off the walls of the damned suite. “I wish I hadn’t given in to temptation. I wish I hadn’t agreed to come back to Manchester. I’m in love with you, Seraphina. And I don’t know anymore whether that makes me an idiot or just a masochistic fool.”
Seraphina’s breathing turns ragged. She takes another step forward, then stops, as though an invisible force is holding her back.
“You’re neither of those things,” she assures her.
“No, of course not. I’m just the perfect distraction whenever your life becomes unbearable,” Nerissa retorts.
Seraphina closes her eyes for a moment, absorbing the blow, but she doesn’t leave.
Nerissa watches her and feels the emotional exhaustion of years settling over her.
Years filled with meetings in discreet hotel rooms.
With abruptly ended phone calls.
With moments stolen from time.
With always, always waiting for Seraphina to be the one making all the decisions.
“I’m sick of your crumbs,” Nerissa murmurs, completely drained. “Sick of the rushed goodbyes, of stripping the sheets alone while you go back to your perfect home. Sick of promises that never mean anything once dawn breaks and reality comes back.”
Seraphina shakes her head, her lips parted.
“They do mean something to me…” she insists.
“Then stay,” Nerissa replies without hesitation.
The silence that follows is brutal, because they both know exactly what’s going to happen.
Seraphina lowers her gaze to the floor, defeated.
And Nerissa feels, with painful clarity, the exact moment something inside her breaks once again.
“That’s what I thought,” the surgeon concludes bitterly.
She steps back, picks up her car keys from the desk, and clenches them tightly in her fist.
“Go home.”
“Nerissa…” Seraphina tries one last time.
“Go before I say something I’ll regret,” she interrupts, turning her back on her.
Seraphina remains motionless for a few more seconds.
Guilt passes across her face, but fear, as always, wins in the end.
She grabs her purse, smooths out her clothes, and slowly approaches the door.
