Page 24 of Swipe My Alpha
When I think about it that simply, I feel sick.
I've been so scared of becoming the professor who ruined his career over an affair that I forgot the actual lesson of that story. That guy didn't fail because he fell for someone. He failed because he lied about it. He hid it. He treated the person like a secret until the secret blew up.
I'm doing the same thing. I just told my mate to hide.
I pick up my phone.
I'll fix it. Tomorrow morning. I promise.
He reads it. The typing indicator appears and disappears. Appears again.
You better.
I sit in the car for a while longer. Then I start the engine and drive to my office.
The email to Dr. Albright takes a long time to write and about one second to decide to send. I tell her the truth. Jude Park is my fated mate. I should have disclosed it immediately. I'm prepared to accept whatever professional consequences follow, but I will not hide this bond and I will not ask my mate to be invisible. I hit send and close my laptop and my hands are still shaking but the sick feeling is gone.
Then I drive to my parents' house, an hour away, because I don't deserve to sleep in the nest tonight, and because tomorrow morning I need to show up as someone who does.
Jude
Islept on Benji's floor.
Not my bed, which is a few feet away and perfectly functional. Benji's floor, wrapped in a blanket that smells like his incense and not like mahogany and not like the nest and not like anything that's going to make my chest ache worse than it already does. Benji didn't ask why. He just threw a pillow at me and said "shoes off, no talking until I've had coffee" and went back to sleep.
I didn't sleep much. My phone has one unread message from Rhys that saysI'll fix it. Tomorrow morning. I promise.and I've read it a million times and I still don't know what it means. Fix what. Fix how. Show up with flowers and a speech about how he's sorry and he'll do better and then what, we go back to sneaking around until the semester ends and he can acknowledge me in public?
I've heard that speech before. Different alpha, different excuse, same ending.
The apartment is quiet in the early morning way that means everyone is either asleep or pretending to be. I'm on my backon Benji's floor staring at his ceiling, which has glow-in-the-dark stars on it from when Soren decorated everyone's rooms last year, and I'm wearing Rhys's flannel because I couldn't leave it at the apartment last night. I grabbed it on my way out like a reflex, shoved it on in the elevator, and hated myself the entire walk home because it smells like him and my omega purrs every time I breathe in and I want to scream.
Benji's door creaks open. Milo is standing there in pajama pants and an oversized sweater, holding two mugs of tea. He hands one to me without a word, sits down cross-legged on the floor next to me, and waits.
"I'm fine," I say.
"You slept on Benji's floor."
"It's a comfortable floor."
"It's hardwood."
"I like hardwood."
Milo just looks at me with those big brown eyes that make you want to confess every bad thing you've ever done. I last about ten seconds.
"He asked me to be invisible," I say. "His department head made a comment and he panicked and asked me to hide. For six weeks. No coming over during the week, no being seen together. He filed a transfer without telling me first. He just— he made the decision and told me about it after."
Milo's face does something soft and angry at the same time. "That's not okay."
"I know it's not okay."
"Did you tell him that?"
"I told him to get out of the apartment."
"Good."
Benji rolls over in his bed. He's been awake the whole time, obviously. "Want me to key his car?"
