Page 99 of As Long As You'll Have Me
I nod my head and scooch myself closer so I’mtucked into his chest. He drapes an arm around me and pulls me in, eliminating any space that was once between us.
“I slept good. I like when you’re next to me, it’s like having a personal weighted blanket that always smells like hot man.”
He chuckles and the sound of his laughter fills the room. “And here I was thinking I always smelled like soot and singed hair.”
I bury my nose in his chest and take a deep inhale. “Nope, hot man only.”
He laughs again and tightens his arms around me a little more. Closing my eyes for a moment, I drink in this moment where it’s just the two of us. No outside noise or distractions. How easy it feels. Howrightit feels to be with him like this. I have patients who tell me about their relationships and all the things that bother them about their partners. But when I think about Miles, I can’t find a single thing about him I don’t like. Maybe it’s because we’re still in the honeymoon phase. But when he’s here, everything in my life finally feels whole. Like I’ve been walking around, collecting different pieces and parts to add to myself and he’s the final piece I’ve been searching for.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he asks gently, pulling away from me enough to peer down and look at me.
“You. Us,” I answer easily. Because even being honest with him is easy.
“What about me,us?”
I wiggle out from being so close to him so I can look him in the eye. The deep brown color of them envelops me like a hug, holding me tight and safe while I say something that makes anyone nervous before they say it.
“I was just thinking about how things with us are so…easy. I can’t tell you how often I sit across from people in my office complaining about their partners, but every time I think about you, I can’t think of a single thing I don’t like. You make me happy and cook me dinner and text me every single morning when you’re not already with me. You tell me I’m beautiful when I look like I literally crawled out of a dumpster and you have the heart of a saint. The way you treat the people you love is kind and gentle but you watch out for others with this fierce protectiveness that is so wildly attractive it makes me want to take my clothes off when I see it.” My words are coming out so fast I’m almost out of breath. “The way you look at me makes my heart melt and when I show you my newest crochet projects you never tell me they’re silly or dumb. You listen when I talk to you and ask questions that are insightful and intelligent. I think I got to a certain point in my life where I thought this kind of love wasn’t for me but here you are, looking back at me, smiling, probably thinking I’m crazy because I sound like a crazy person right now.”
I half smirk at him because of the way he’s looking at me and finally take a breath. His eyes search mine as he reaches to brush a piece of hair out of my face.
“I love you, too, Hanna.”
It’s simple. Short and sweet. But it’s the best five words I’ve ever heard strung together in a sentence.
“You do?” I ask but I don’t know why. It isn’t the first time this topic has come up between us. I guess I’m surprised by how easily he said it.
“I do.” He nods his head. “More than anything. I think I have since the first time I walked into your office. If it wasn’t then it was definitely that night in the bar when you stole my hat and sang to me from across the room.” His eyes glance over to where the hat is now sitting on the top of my dresser.
He takes a hand and frames my face. “I love you because you see me, all of me, and it doesn’t scare you away. You aren’t afraid of my demons. You stand next to me and help me fight them—help me heal from them. I’ve never had someone in my life who’s been willing to do that. Sure, you’re beautiful and smart and funny and I love all of those things about you. But what I love most about you is your heart and how I’m convinced that it was made to love mine.”
Laying next to him, I smile and run my fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes while I do, almost like he’s saying a silent prayer, thanking the gods above for bringing us together. When he opens his eyes again, I smile.
“You love me?” I smirk.
“I do.”
“Say it again,” I say, moving closer towards him.
“I love you.”
I feel my cheeks inflate. Pulling myself closer, I repeat myself, “Say it again.”
He happily complies. “I love you.”
“One more time,” I whisper, climbing up on top of him. My legs straddle either side of his core and I bend over at my waist, flipping my hair to one side and bringing my lips close to his.
“I love you,” he says, gripping the tops of my thighs a little tighter with his fingertips.
“I love you, too, fireman.” I bring my lips to his and kiss him hard. I feel his arms constrict around my back, holding me in place on top of him before he tips us over. I squeal and then laugh as he rolls us to where he’s on top of me now.
“You have my heart, Hanna Smith. And I don’t think I ever want it back,” he promises, looking down at me. He hasmy hands pinned above my head and is giving me a big goofy smile.
“Good, because I don’t think I ever want to give it back,” I say, shaking my head at him. When he leans down to kiss me, I wrap my hands around his neck. His tongue presses into my mouth and I’m ready to let him have me completely when the loud grumble of my stomach sounds off between us. We both fall into a fit of laughter and the sound of our shared joy fills my bedroom. When he collects himself, he kisses my cheek and looks at me.
“How about some breakfast?”
“I guess breakfast would be a good idea,” I agree. When he goes to move off of me, I dig my fingernails into his shoulder blades, calling his attention back to me. “But after…”
