Page 110 of As Long As You'll Have Me
“Miles Adler, do you know where he is?” I ask the woman sitting at the nurses station. “He’s a firefighter?—”
“Hanna, over here.” My eyes shoot to the sound of his voice. When I see him step around one of the curtains in the emergency room, I take off in a sprint and fling myself into his body. He catches me with ease and lifts me up, my feet leaving the floor and wrapping around his body.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” I say into his neck, biting back tears. He reeks of smoke but I don’t care. Seeing him now, I feel the adrenaline and fear of seeing his name flashing on my phone in the middle of the night finally starting to hit me.
His hand holds the back of my neck as he pulls me into a kiss. It’s as if I’m his lifeline and he’s reaching out, trying to find steady ground in the midst of a terrible storm.
“I promised I’d come back to you. And I always keep my promises,” he says, finally pulling away from me. He sets me down on the ground but doesn’t let go of my hand. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course,” I hurry out, shaking my head at him. He’s still in his full gear, his helmet resting on the hospital bed behind him. Soot and ash cover his jacket and a black streak of it runs down his face. His hair is damp and patted down from sweat. “What happened?”
He takes a deep breath but it comes out as more of a wheeze than anything. Before speaking, he sits back down on the bed and takes a few moments to put his oxygen tube back in place under his nose and around his ears. “It all happened so fast. We were called out to a fire, a three-alarm which is pretty bad. When we got there, the building was already burning hot and fast. I was in the middle of givingorders when Carter took off inside. We heard someone scream and he went in to rescue them.”
His eyes become wet as he retells the story.
“I went in after him; I had to. I wasn’t going to lose another person. I couldn’t. When I found him, he was in bad shape. But we got him out, and the woman he saved, but I don’t know, it might be too late for him.” He brings his hands to his face, covering his eyes in shame. Reaching up, I place my hands on his neck and weave them under his, replacing his hands with my own. He stares at me, cheeks wet with his grief and fear.
“He’s going to be okay, Miles. This is a great hospital, one of the best. They’re going to take good care of him.”
“What if he doesn’t pull through?”
“He will, I know he will. He has something to live for. People to live for. He’ll pull through, I know he will.” I wipe my thumbs across his cheek. The soot and tears mix together, making him look even more of a mess than before.
“Carter!” the voice of a woman calls down the hallway. “Carter Jensen!”
We look towards the voice and when the body it belongs to comes into view, I see that it’s Willow. She’s running down the hallway of the hospital, wearing a set of pink scrubs and matching pink tennis shoes.
“Willow,” Miles calls out, pulling off his oxygen once again before standing. When she sees us, she runs towards us.
“I saw his name on the admitted patients list, where is he?” she asks, gasping for air. Her eyes are wild but tired. She has dark circles under them and I wonder if she had been working the night shift when Carter and Miles were brought here.
“He’s being looked at now. They took him to the ICU.”She doesn’t wait for him to finish before trying to head in the direction he’s pointing.
“Willow, wait,” Miles calls out, grabbing her arm to stop her. “You shouldn’t see him yet. He’s not in good shape.”
“Then I should absolutely be in there to make sure he pulls through,” she spits. She runs her fingers through her curly red hair that she has pulled back into a haphazard braid.
“How could you do this? How could you let him get hurt?” she screams at him, arms flailing away from her body.
“Willow, I didn’t do this. He ran into the building without backup. He saved a woman’s life. I pulled him out,” Miles argues defensively.
“You were supposed to keep him safe. You’re the big brother, not him. It’s your job to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid!” she continues to shout, shoving him so hard he has to take a step back to catch himself. A few of the nurses standing close by glance in our direction.
“He’s not a child, Willow. He’s a grown man who makes his own decisions. This isn’t my fault,” Miles grits through clenched teeth.
She bites her lip and takes a step closer to him, her lip curled up into a snarl.
“If he dies, I willneverforgive you,” she grits out with a hard finger pressed into his chest. Then, she spins on her heels and hustles in the direction of the ICU. When she’s gone, I take a step towards him and loop my arm around his.
“She didn’t mean that. She’s just scared and worried about Carter.” I try to comfort him. People express their emotions in a myriad of ways, including lashing out at people who don’t deserve it. “He’s going to be okay, Miles.This isn’t your fault; you saved him. You did everything you could.”
“Yeah, well, it might not be enough,” he says quietly, shoulders slumped and defeated. He looks around and sits back down on the bed before pulling the oxygen tube over his ears and setting it back in his nose. Sitting down beside him, I look at him and give him space to talk when he’s ready. His eyes are fixated on the floor and he’s circling his thumbs one around the other.
“If he dies, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself either,” he says towards the floor just above a whisper. I lean my head on his shoulder and take his hand into mine. I squeeze it three times and wait but he doesn’t squeeze mine back.
A little while later,both Ivy and Coop are sitting in the waiting room with us. Miles got the all clear from the doctor after being seen a second time. I offered to call his family for him but being the man he is, he took it upon himself to relay the news. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so worried than when Ivy burst down the hallway. I could tell she had been crying but had wiped away the tears before coming inside. Cooper didn’t say anything when he got here. Just took Miles into a hug and gave him a sharp nod. The three of them hugged each other, pulling one another close, trying to be strong for the other. None of them are related by blood but act as more of a family than most people do with their actual family.
Willow hasn’t come back after going in to see him as the trauma team admitted him. Once they put out the fire, a couple of men from the firehouse came and are sitting with us too. They brought Miles a fresh change of clothes andone of the nurses was kind enough to let him take a shower in one of the locker rooms. It took some convincing to get him to leave his seat because he worried that if he left, he would miss something, but once he returned, he looked like a new person. The soot and ash from his face had been wiped clean but the smell of smoke still lingers in his hair.
