Page 75 of As Long As You'll Have Me
I don’t think I can go anywhere without them.
Well thank god because they’re one of my favorite things about you.
Something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye and I look up to see Carter stalking towards my truck. By the way his face is pinched up I can tell something isn’t right. I quickly send off a text and start my truck.
I’ll see you tomorrow doc.
I can’t wait to wrap gifts with you.
I can’t wait either
The passenger door swings open at the force of his pull and he throws himself in the seat beside me. Locking my phone, I tuck it away into the center console and look at him expectantly.
“What?” he snaps.
“Something wrong?” I ask, knowing already that it is.
“No, I’m fine,” he mumbles as he looks out the window away from me. He did the same thing when we were kids and something was bothering him. He does a good job of masking it but to his core, Carter is a sensitive person. He was always the first to cry when he thought he was in trouble or he accidentally hurt someone on the playground. He feels things, deeply, which is why it’s a bit of a surprise when he became a first responder.
“You know Ivy is going to notice that something definitelyisn’tfine. And then she’s going to pester you about it and then it’s going to get annoying—” I start, trying to get him to talk to me.
“I said I’m fine, okay? Drop it and let’s go. We’re already late.” His voice is firm and he only looks at me in quick glances.
“Who was on the phone?”
He pauses for a minute before answering. Watching him, I notice the Adam’s apple in his throat bob as he swallows hard. “It was my realtor. She found a property she thought I might want to rehab.”
I know it’s a lie but I’m also not going to push him. With Carter, I’ve found over the years it’s best to let him come to you when he’s ready. Giving him space to breathe, I pull away from the curb and start to head out so we don’t miss our Sunday morning plans. Once we’re down the road a bit and he’s had a few moments to himself, I speak again.
“Why are you looking at property?”
“Why are you asking so many questions this morning?” he counters aggressively.
“Hey, I’m just asking a question because I’m curious about my brother’s life. You don’t need to bite my head off about it,” I respond, matching his tone. It’s rare that we speak so heated towards one another but something has him frayed and he’s taking it out on me.
“Because I fucking want to. That’s it. That’s the whole story.” He waves a hand out in front of him in a sharp motion, metaphorically cutting off my line of questioning.
I don’t know why he’s being so pissy about this or what has ticked him off so bad but clearly he isn’t up for talking about it. We drive the rest of the way home in silence, letting the music of the radio fill the space between us. He doesn’t even move to change the station to his favorite one or turn it up when a song I know he likes comes on so he can sing to it which only concerns me more.
When we finally reach the house, I pull into the driveway and he jumps out of the truck like his last breath depends on it. Coop’s cruiser is already parked out front as is Willow’s four-door so I know we’re walking into a fullhouse. When I pull my phone out, I see I have a text from Hanna and I quickly swipe to look at it. A smile spreads across my lips when I see it’s a picture of her holding her newest crochet project. The photo is of her lap, her hand holding onto whatever the ball of yarn has yet to become with her legs bent under her. She’s still in her pajamas which have kiwis on them this time instead of the previous peaches or strawberries. I suddenly wish I was sitting next to her, my hand wrapped around her thigh, slowly dragging it closer to her center as far as I can until she cries ‘chicken.’ Or doesn’t. I’d prefer doesn’t. I send off a quick message before my attention is interrupted.
“What the fuck is that face for?” Carter scowls at me from the other side of my truck.
All of the muscles in my face suddenly relax. “What face? I wasn’t making a face.”
“Yeah you were, just now, at your phone.”
“Says the guy who’s looked like he has a stick shoved up his ass the last twenty minutes,” I argue. We’re moving across the front lawn as we bicker, making our way inside.
“I do not look like I have a stick shoved up my ass,” he rebuttals, talking to me over his shoulder as we step inside our childhood home. This week it smells like pancakes, bacon, and homemade grits are on the menu.
“I beg to differ,” a new voice cuts in and we look up to find Willow standing at the end of the hall with a smirk on her face.
“No one asked you, Willie,” Carter groans, shoving past her with his shoulder.
“They never do, but always should.” She sighs condescendingly.
I pull her into a hug and love the feeling of her arms around my center. Growing up, I always kind of saw her asmy little sister. While she and Carter have always been closer than she and I, I’d do anything for her. Coop made Carter and I promise to look out for her if anything ever happened to him on the job which we both happily agreed to do.
