Page 8 of Sexting His Son's Ex
He stretches his arm across the edge of the table to be closer to me. “I have plenty of things I want to say. You don’t have to say a word. Just let me talk?”
I roll my eyes when it comes to his demands again. He’s always demanding. It’s always what he wants. Now that I’m not dating him, the rose-colored lenses have been lifted. Everything he ever bought me is in a box, taped, labeled, and ready to give back to him. I appreciated the gifts but now I’m wondering if the gifts are to make up for how he treats his partners.
I grab the correct flowers I need from the fridge and begin to trim the stems. “Well… talk.”
“Will you look at me?”
Sighing my discontent, I toss the trimmers down and cock my head at him, showing my impatience.
He’s got dark circles under his eyes, and clearly hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s grown out his beard a bit, the stubble thicker than usual, creating a shadow on his face. His brown eyes seem tired and dull. Maybe he has some remorse, which is fine. If he takes accountability,great. Good for him for growing, but the damage has been done. We are done.
For good. No matter what he says.
He opens his mouth a few times to start talking and only sighs or grunts come out. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where to start.”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to start anywhere. We’re over, Luca. I’m not trying to be crass or rude with you. I’m really not. I’m just… tired. I’m tired of men like you who use women like me, women who are kind and smart and driven, only for you to throw us away because you saw something shiny and new. Don’t torture yourself into thinking you need to say anything because you don’t. Really. I’m fine.” I press my hand to my chest and look around my business. “I have a thriving business. I do well for myself. You acted like I always needed you, but I didn’t.”
“I know.” He swallows as he slides onto the stool, his head hanging low. “I know. I see that now. I took you for granted. I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry, Jovie.” He finally peels his eyes from staring at the floor to look at me. His eyes are riddled with pain, a glaze to them I haven’t noticed before.
But it doesn’t change anything.
“You cheated on me, Luca. I mean, I know we weren’t dating long, but you cheated, and not only did you cheat, but you got another woman pregnant.”
He shakes his head, scooting closer to me and grabbing my hand before I can pick up a flower. “No, I mean, yes, I did cheat. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have done that, but I just found out she isn’t pregnant. I went to the doctor with her to make sure. It was a false positive.”
I tug my hand free from his and lean my hip against the counter, crossing my arms. “That’s great for you, Luca. I think? I don’t know.”
“It’s because I don’t want her, Jovie. I wantyou. I’ve tried calling you, texting you?—”
“—I know. I didn’t want to talk to you. Luca, I really liked you. I did.”
“I liked you too, Jovie. I think we can be good together. We can?—”
“No. No. And no.” I stop him, not wanting him to spew plans that will never happen. “Stop. No. Just because she isn’t pregnant, it doesn’t mean everything is fixed. You proved I can’t trust you. I will never be able to trust you again, Luca. You betrayed me. Would you want to be with a woman who cheated on you?”
He closes his eyes and gives the smallest shake of his head. “No. No, I wouldn’t.”
“What we had was fun. I think you viewed our relationship differently than I did. I was wanting a partner, and you were wanting to dominate. You only ever wanted to have sex with me, and I had a feeling once you had it, you’d leave. I was a challenge and maybe that is all our relationship was,” I say softly.
I’m not angry anymore. Just tired.
“It’s really over, isn’t it?” He rubs his eyes, shoulders slumping. “Fuck, Jovie. I’m sorry.”
Silence falls between us. All that’s heard is the clock ticking on the wall and the cars driving by on the road.
I can’t stop myself from asking, “How long did you cheat on me for?” After I ask, I wish I didn’t. I don’t want to know the answer.
“Since the beginning,” he answers without hesitation. “I’ll tell you everything. I’m begging for another chance Jovie. I don’t want to be that man anymore.”
“And I don’t want to be anyone’s steppingstone into making their lives better! I’m done. I deserve to be someone’s last step, Luca. I am tired of being the one who gets hurt because men like you use me. I’m done with it. You need to figure out what kind of man you want to be. I have nothing to do with that. Maybe your actions are a catalyst to drive you to be the better man. If that is what you want to do, if you’re wanting to change, then you should if that’s what you want. Don’t bring a woman into your journey, Luca.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to give me another chance?”
This time, it’s me who takes his hand. I don’t want to give him hope.
“No, Luca. I can’t do that. I won’t apologize for that decision either. To me, what you did was unforgivable. I could never fully trust you again. I think we both know this relationship wouldn’t have lasted. Whatever you do is very different from what I do. That’s another thing, you’re so secretive. You don’t respect what I do either. We’re just on different paths. I think we were there for each other when we needed to be.”
“I’m not going to stop trying to win your trust.”
