Page 23 of An Earl's Bet
“Stop.The man is Sir Earnest Pashley.I will go and talk to him.”He walked towards the front of the house, trying to stop himself from running, and as soon as he was outside, he jogged along the driveway.He didn’t have to go far before he discovered Earnest sitting under a tree, hugging his knees.His feet were bare, and he wore only a shirt and pants, looking rather handsomely dishevelled.
“Earnest.What on earth are you doing sitting here?”
Earnest glanced up, tears streaking down his face.Oh dear.This wasn’t like last time at all.“Why isn’t it raining?”
“To add more drama or simply add to your obvious misery?”
“Drama, obviously.I’m a poet.If I’m going to take charge of my broken heart and rush away, at least the weather could provide some atmosphere.”
He didn’t know where to start with any of that.“Are you going to camp here again?”
“No.This time I’m leaving first so you can’t throw me out.”
Hugo sat down beside Earnest and slung one arm around his slumped shoulders.“Earnest.I’m not going to throw you out again.”
“You might.”
“No.The first time I was scared.I wanted you to go away before something bad happened.I knew I was going to be punished for being with you and I didn’t want you to be there when the punishment came.”
Earnest blinked at him through tear covered lashes.“Wait.You pushed me away to save me from your own demons?”
“I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”He knew now that he’d created a situation which was Earnest’s bad thing instead, and his heart ached.“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry for running away too.I thought ...I hoped that if I left first, then you wouldn’t have a chance to realise that you didn’t want me.”
Hugo held Earnest tighter.“I want you.”
“Good because I think I’ve fallen in love with you, and stop, before you say that I always imagine myself in love, this time it’s true.”
Hugo wasn’t sure what to make of that.“What do you mean?”
“I always fall in love too easily.”
“Who told you that?”Hugo certainly hadn’t been thinking about love, only consequences.
“My friends.They are always rescuing me after a love affair.”
“I don’t understand.”
“That time on your lawn.I was angry at you for throwing me away and I wanted to make a scene.My friends made excuses for me.”
“The book?”
“Yes, damn them, because then I had to go and finish the book with a broken heart.No one has discarded me like that since...”Earnest gulped audibly.
“Since your father sent you to the orphanage?”Hugo guessed.Suddenly everything made sense.All the dramatic statements and Earnest’s need to leave immediately after they’d both been together so spectacularly.Hugo wasn’t going to comment on Earnest’s apparent broken heart after one night together.It was typically dramatic of the poet to use such language, and perhaps Earnest’s friends weren’t far off the mark.
“Yes.Fathers.Who’d have them?”Earnest’s shoulders heaved.“I shouldn’t be too harsh on all fathers.Sebastian ended up with a wonderful father figure when he was adopted out of the orphanage, so it’s possible that decent fathers exist even if we lucked out on that front.”
“We did.”Hugo knew he’d have to spend his lifetime grappling with the way his father had treated him, but it all seemed possible with Earnest by his side.“Earnest?”
“Yes.”
He touched Earnest on the chin and tipped his head so they gazed into each other eyes.“Earnest.What we have isn’t love.”
“It isn’t?It sure feels like it could be.”
“It could be.”Hugo could easily fall in love with the way Earnest cared about him, if he could simply let himself stop worrying about the future and what might happen.