Page 77 of Sweet Trouble
“Jillian?” Gram said gently from the hallway.
Jillian bit her lip and made herself come out of the bathroom with the most neutral expression she could manage.
“Hey, Gram,” she said.
“I have a little something for you to wear tonight,” Gram said with a sweet smile. “If you’d like?”
“Oh, wow,” Jillian said. “Thank you.”
She followed her grandmother down the hall to her grandparents’ bedroom. This was her first time really entering their space since she’d arrived, and she couldn’t help taking a relieved look around. The bedroom was neat and tidy and looked like it had been well cared for. There were no leaks in the ceiling or under the windows.
“It’s just a necklace,” Gram said, heading to the small glass jewelry box on her vanity. “But I wore it the night your grandfather proposed to me, so I’ve always considered it special.”
“I’m not going with Tripp,” Jillian said. It came out louder than shemeant it to.
“I heard as much from his mother,” Gram said calmly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Jillian sighed and swept her hands down the front of her dress, trying to buy herself time to come up with a polite way to sayno.
But as she thought it over, she found that shedidwant to talk about it.
“I really do like him,” she said. “And I thought maybe things could work out between us. But he just wants something casual.”
“What makes you think that?” Gram asked, frowning. “What did he say to you?”
“Well, he didn’t exactly say it to me,” Jillian admitted. “I overheard him talking to his brother, and so I just left.”
Gram just blinked at her.
“I know,” Jillian said. “I should talk to him myself.”
“You should tell him what you want,” Gram said, nodding. “Or you won’t get it.”
“That’s the thing,” Jillian said. “I don’t want to push him into anything. I shouldn’t have to. He wants this family as a package deal, or he doesn’t. He wants this to be something real, or he just wants to have fun. That’s up to him. After Alan, I’m… I’m tired of needing to have enough belief in the relationship for both of us. I won’t do it again, not when I have family all around me and a life I love just fine without a man in it.”
“You’ve been through a lot,” Gram said. “And you put in a whole lot of effort on a man who wasn’t worth a half-load of pig manure.”
Jillian let out a little laugh without meaning to. Shehadneverknown her grandmother to speak that way about anyone.
“Forgive me, dear,” Gram said. “I know he was your husband. But…well, he took you and the girls for granted. Real men don’t do that.”
Jillian nodded. Everything her grandmother was saying was true.
“At any rate, it’s no wonder you’re slow to trust again,” Gram went on. “But I think the Lawrence boy has real feelings for you. At the very least, he deserves a chance to tell you about his feelings himself.”
Right again. Gram was telling her as kindly as a person could that she shouldn’t judge the man’s intentions based on a snippet of eavesdropping.
But after all she and the girls had been through, it was hard to imagine taking a man at his word when she knew that he was telling her what she wanted to hear.
“Alan played me for a fool,” Jillian sighed, cutting to the heart of the matter. “I don’t think of myself as a proud person. But I’m so afraid to be the fool again. I don’twantto feel like that again, Gram.”
“Oh, we’re all fools, my dear,” Gram said fondly. “Especially when it comes to love. The sooner you start accepting that, the better.”
Jillian surprised herself by bursting into tears.
Her grandmother held her close, her arms still strong enough to be a safe harbor in the ocean of Jillian’s emotions.
“I ruined everything,” Jillian sobbed. “I ran from him, just like Alan ran from me.”
