Page 39 of Sweet Trouble
“It sure seemed like I had it all figured out back then,” Jillian said, shaking her head. “I don’t know what happened.”
“Hey,” Tripp said. “The whole world isn’t in your control. But you’ve done a great job with the things that are. All any of us can do is the best we can with what’s in our hands.”
The words hit her hard. Seeing her current situation through Tripp’s perspective turned everything on its head. Shehadalways done her best for her family and her patients, and that was something to be proud of.
“Thank you for that,” she said, swallowing over the sudden lump in her throat. “I think I needed to hear it.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Tripp said. “Now listen, it’s been a long time, but I do owe you an apology.”
“What for?” she asked.
“I thought I was making a big romantic gesture back then,” he said. “I thought you would love it. But that’s only because it’s whatIwould love. I can’t be mad because you should have known me better—not when I definitely knew you well enough to know I should have talked to you about my feelings for you privately instead of making some big embarrassing scene. So I’m sorry for that.”
“And I’m sorry I thought the worst of you, Tripp,” Jillian said. “You’re right. I should have known you would never do something so mean.”
“Of course not,” he replied. “And never, ever to you.”
His words hung in the air for a moment.
“Well, maybe you liked me back in high school,” Jillian said. “But now I’ve got two children and a life that’s defined by them and my grandparents. I’m not exactly the most eligible girl in town.”
“Jillian,” Tripp said, leaning forward sothat she felt almost hypnotized by his blue gaze. “Have you noticed that we have a lot in common?”
“What do you mean?” she asked him.
“We’re both caregivers,” he said. “You spend your days taking care of kids, I spend mine taking care of the herd.”
She smiled at the idea that hedidtend to the health and happiness of other beings all day.
“You’re close with your family and you want to be here to help them,” he said. “My family is my whole life. And I’ve got even more of them to answer to than you do.”
“That’s true,” she said, realizing he was right about that. Her own family in town seemed small compared to the whole Lawrence clan.
“The thing about a man like me,” Tripp said, “is that he appreciates the kind of woman who won’t resent it if he has to go catch the cows when they get out, or help his mom change out the screens for the storm windows, or help bail out his brother’s basement if it floods, or whatever else needs my attention.”
Jillian nodded, a sense of wonder falling over her.
“A man like me,” he continued, “understands that a woman who can stand on her own two feet is a rare and wonderful creature.”
“That’s… that’s really nice, Tripp,” she told him, trying to remind herself of all the reasons she didn’t want to be in a relationship right now.
My marriage failed.
The girls need all the attention I can give them.
My grandparents need to know I don’t take them for granted.
All her reasons suddenly seemed small when she was face-to-face with this wonderful man, whose expression was filled with warmth and longing. A man who didn’t want to take a single one of her priorities away from her, but instead wanted to lend her his strong shoulders to ease her burden.
“But you still don’t want to be my girl,” he guessed.
“My time isn’t my own anymore,” she said, tearing her eyes from his. “And I wasn’t planning to date again until… ever, really.”
“Can you change that plan?” Tripp asked gently. “For someone who would be grateful to be a part of whatever moments are leftover in your life?”
She wanted nothing more than to say yes.He was asking her for something she wanted to give. And asking in a respectful way too.
But she had to tell him no. That was the only possible answer.
