Page 55 of The Shrouded Queen
I nodded, though I wasn’t fully reassured. I didn’t think I would breathe normally again until I was back in Ashorah. Or in the Paradise Fields.
Rade’s gaze dropped to my hand in his. With furrowed brows, he turned it over and ran his thumb over the calluses on my palm. “You have rough hands,” he murmured in surprise.
Panic sparked in my veins. I snatched my hand away. “Yes. Yes, we royals… we… work.”
“Ah yes. You trained with the Khada Guard, right?”
“I—yes.” I swallowed hard and thanked the moon goddess, Ayeen, for hiding the flustered blush in my cheeks. Glancing back into the clearing, I saw Keir lift his head. Those sunny eyes scanned the area, drawing closer to where I hid.
I stepped back deeper into the shelter of the trees. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I should—”
“How many times must I ask you to call me Rade?” His lips quirked to the side.
A shy smile curved my lips. “Sorry. Rade. I should go before anyone notices me.”
“I think they’d be happy to see the Queen of Ashorah taking an interest in our customs.”
“I doubt that.”
Rade smiled sadly but said, “I’ll walk you back.”
It was actually rather pleasant walking by his side. Rade had a calming presence, a stillness within that stretched to encompass those around him. It was comforting.
He stopped outside my door. “I’ve instructed Keir to keep this unlocked. Feel free to walk around anytime.”
“Thank you.”
Before I closed the door, Rade blurted, “Wait.”
I paused.
He rubbed the back of his neck and laughed self-consciously. “I just… I know this is a wedding ritual, but it’s important that you know I wouldn’t—expect anything of you. That I would never… force myself on you, either. That’s not a, um, requirement of the Merging.”
“Oh.” A fierce heat stole over my cheeks. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. And with his power, I supposed Radecouldforce whatever he wanted. I didn’t put much stock in a Kald’s word, but for my own sanity, I chose to believe him. “Thank you.”
He laughed softly. “You really don’t need to thank me for that.”
My cheeks flushed even hotter. “Right.”
Rade started to back away, a smile still playing on his lips. “The day is yours to do with as you like. I’ll see you at dinner.”
I nodded, and he turned and strode into the trees, back to the funeral. I watched after him for a moment before softly shutting my cabin door.
A husband. I hadn’t even had a suitor. They were prohibited among the Gods-Chosen’s maids. Too much of a distraction. And now I would have a husband.
No. No, I wouldn’t make it that far.
I sat on the edge of my bed and stared down at my callused hands.
I’d never given them much consideration before. All slaves had hands like these. Rough skin, cracked and dry. When we’d bathed Amunet, I’d never even noticed the difference between her smooth, unblemished skin and mine. But Rade was right, my hands were… they were disgusting. Used, chapped.
If Rade had picked up on something so small, what else might he see? My whole body screamed out that I was a liar, that I wasn’t special or chosen or royal. I could not hide that forever.
Maybe that was why Keir hated me so much. Maybe his Shifter senses could smell the filth I’d tried so desperately to wash away in the saltwater bath. Maybe when he looked at me, what he saw was the many, many things I lacked.
TWENTY-TWOSAMIRA
I spent the day walking aimlessly through Frostguard. Keir followed several feet behind but mercifully didn’t attempt to speak to me, even as he wore a pinched expression on his face, almost like he was in pain. I didn’t comment on it, and he didn’t explain.
