Page 86 of The Shrouded Queen
She was gone. And she’d taken the comfort of the gods with her.
THIRTY-FOURSAMIRA
The Wastelands were just a speck on the horizon, yet I hadn’t looked away from them for nearly an hour. I’d stared at that hint of desert for so long, I saw it on the backs of my lids with every blink. I didn’t mind the wind, the chill, or the way the wooden banister dug into my forearms as I leaned against it. I hadn’t felt so alone since those initial hours after my kidnapping.
Velka and Rade had checked on me often over the last couple of days, and I made sure to visit Milena every chance I got, but it was as if I were trapped on one side of a glass window while they simply waved at me from the other side. Separate.
The Trench was where the worst souls were sent after death, where they suffered for eternity, severed forever from the gods, left only with Shaya. Where the death god let his soulless mind run rampant with ideas of torment.
One lie. That was all. I could feel it like a literal stain on my heart. One lie, that was the price of my soul.
I traced a finger over theXon my chest, almost thinking I’d push too hard and my chest would cave in like a rotted log, utterly hollow.
From the ground below, Keir called, “Nearly done up there, Majesty?”
“No,” I replied flatly.
“Going to be much longer?”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to stay.”
He didn’t respond. I thought he must’ve left, until the ladder groaned and his yellow eyes appeared in the square door in the floor. “The Lunar Feast is tonight,” he said. “If you don’t mind, I’d actually like to go. Which I can’t do until you’re tucked safe and sound in your cabin.”
Evening was still hours away. I didn’t bother pointing that out. “Just give me five more minutes.” I dropped my chin into my palm and brought my eyes back to the Wastelands. The life I’d had was so far away. A life I no longer yearned for but despised. My memories of my time there seemed to contort and shift as the truth slipped out from behind the mask of my zeal.
Keir climbed fully into the watchtower and warmed the space by my side. “What’s wrong with you? Is it your power? Has something happened?”
“Can’t you just sniff me and magically know?” I asked sarcastically.
“That’s not exactly how it works.” He paused. “Plus, I tried that already.”
I huffed a humorless laugh. “Of course you did.”
“What is it? You’ve been acting weird all week.”
“I’m really not in the mood today, Keir.”
“If it’s something to do with the Igniting—”
“Could you please just—”I cut myself off when I heard my voice echo out over the hill. I drew a deep breath. While there was a good deal I wanted to rage at Keir for, the current cause of my anger could only be blamed on myself. With conscious effort, I uncurled my fingers, which had made themselves into fists, and spoke in a more measured tone. “Five more minutes and I’ll come down. I won’t make you late for your party. I promise.”
His brows arced in surprise, but he didn’t say anything. I didn’t have it in me to feel triumphant at rendering him speechless.
I followed the thick line of clouds back to the Wastelands, which burned away the closer they got to Ashorah’s searing sun, until there was nothing obstructing the sight of the gentle blue sky. Deceptive, that gentle blue, since working under it felt like being broiled alive.
And in the opposite direction… the Shroud. I tried to avoid looking at it, but my gaze was inevitably drawn to its inky depths. I couldn’t shake the feeling that those swirling tentacles were every bit as aware of me as I was of them, like they were looking right back at me. But it didn’t unnerve me. Rather, I had to fight to keep my lips from stretching into a smile and my feet from carrying me to its doorstep.
“Always there, isn’t it?”
My eyes slid to Keir.
He’d turned to rest his elbows on the banister, too, gaze trained on that writhing wall. “Even when you’re not thinking about it, you can always feel it trying to pull you in. Right here.” He rubbed the heel of his palm against his sternum with a frown. Exactly where I felt that indescribable tug.
My brows lifted. “You feel drawn to the Shroud?”
He nodded, expression unreadable. A breeze ruffled the rope of his braid, shifting it a few inches over his shoulder blade.
I didn’t bother being surprised that he knew I felt it, but I was taken aback by the fact that he’d decided to sharehedid. “Velka thinks it means we have a greater propensity for darkness.”
