Page 22 of The Shrouded Queen
Between that insufferable itch, theclink, clink, clinkin my head, nefarious circling princes, and Jasim, we couldn’t reach Reeda fast enough.
TENSAMIRA
Velka crouched beside me and held out a wooden plate filled with some sort of smoked fish and a tin cup of that strange milky drink they all seemed to enjoy. “I’m sure it’s not as fancy as the stuff you usually eat,” she said with the barest hint of a smile, “but it’s better than nothing.”
I stared at the bit of roasted fish, slightly pink and charred along the edges. If I allowed it, my stomach would have let out a loud rumble. I was hungry. But I was used to hunger. For the most part, I was pretty good at ignoring it. The only times it was really difficult were when I had to look directly at food, like the night of the invasion.
Or right now, staring at the plate of fish.
The rest of the Seven ate the exact same thing around the campfire. Muscles in Dalla’s jaw popped as she chewed and chewed and chewed. The fish must be really tough. Something that would make my queen turn up her nose. But all I could think about was how hollow my stomach felt, how that persistent gnawing had become almost impossible to ignore.
I wanted to eat. Very, very badly.
My eyes flicked up to Velka. She was only a few years older than me, with a light brown braid that hung over her shoulder, a couple of feet shorter than Keir’s. Her heart-shaped face remained soft andopen as she held the plate out in one heavily tattooed hand. Her smile was kind. Yet I hesitated.
I had decided that morning that they would definitely wait to kill me until we’d reached their king, but as the day had gone by, with Keir’s words echoing in my ears, I’d come to the conclusion that I couldn’t trust a single thing they said or did. They possessed manipulative magic that could turn my own mind against me. I’d already seen the strength of their Shifter abilities, capable of ripping apart Ashorah’s fiercest soldiers and sniffing out a lie when they weren’t even in their animal forms. It stood to reason their magic would be just as strong.
They weren’t safe. I had to remain vigilant. If she wanted me to eat the fish, then I definitelyshouldn’teat the fish.
I shook my head and pulled my knees to my chest, resting my still-tender back against the tree trunk.
Velka frowned. “You must be hungry, Your Majesty. Or at least thirsty.”
“I’m fine.” As an afterthought, I added, “Thank you.” My chains clanked loudly as I wrapped my arms around my knees, folding into myself. The skin around my wrists, rubbed raw from the metal shackles, pulsed painfully in time with my heartbeat.
“Are you sure? We still have a full day—”
“She said she doesn’t want it,” Bain said around the food in his mouth. “Don’t beg her.”
Unintentionally, my gaze slid to Keir sitting beside him. He was already looking at me, plate licked clean. He’d scarfed it down without thought. “Bain’s right,” he said. “If she doesn’t want to eat, leave her be.”
“Keir, come on. You said she’d eat today.”
“Well, I didn’t know she was on a diet, did I?” He rolled his eyes and chucked his plate to the ground. “If you care so much, force-feed her.”
Ice shot through my veins, and I shook my head, ready to beg for a second time.
But Velka just sighed and rose, taking the plate and cup with her. “I’ll see if anyone wants seconds.”
“I want seconds,” Bain said.
“Assholes don’t get seconds.” Velka glared and stalked off toward the tents. Bain watched her go with a strange look in his eyes. I was too caught up in my own relief to try to decipher it.
Conversation picked up within the circle. Bain leaned over and mumbled something to Keir, which made him laugh.
I’d opted for not sitting within the warmth of the circle tonight. I wanted to remain as far away from them as possible, especially after deciding that Keir was trying to use his heretic magic on me. But as I watched Velka return with an empty plate, theXon my chest throbbed, reminding me of familiar guilt and shame.
Maybe I should have eaten the fish. Maybe that was what my queen would have wanted me to do. Or would she prefer that I starve myself before I reach their king, so the Kaldfolk would never think they’d gotten the better of the Gods-Chosen? Questions and indecision swirled through my head. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what was right or wrong, what the gods would reward me for, what would see them turning their backs on me.
The one thing I did know: I was failing them.
I could almost feel the Seven Monarchs’ disappointed eyes searing into me, Ketet and her husband, Phadar, and all the other gods. Weak, useless, pathetic. If I were still in Khada Palace, I’d be punished for such failure, and gods knew I’d deserve it.
The thoughts festered, filling me with guilt so acidic it felt as if it were burning away my stomach lining. The campfires faded and darkness stole in. Even the Seven’s fire was allowed to gutter to mere embers, all of them shutting their eyes. No one to keep watch. I assumedthat meant someone else, maybe among the tents, had been charged with that shift tonight.
It gave me just enough privacy to carry out my own punishment.
I dug my already raw wrists farther into the bolts of the shackles, biting my tongue against the pain. Blood welled up, trickled down, made my hands slick.
