Page 55 of You've Got Hate Mail
So that she can explore dragons and talk about them setting houses on fire and we can work through what that really means to her, instead of knowing that if she says stuff like this at school—and she has—that I’ll get a call from the principal.
A six-year-old pretending to slay dragons isn’t practicing to be an arsonist when she grows up, which the principal knows, but Lav always manages to take it a step farther than the other kids.
Ava would’ve freaked out at calls from the principal.
And there’s the guilt seeping in at how much easier parts of this parenting gig are when I’m doing it solo.
I hug Lav tight, then set her down. “You ready to go get changed and learn to make balloon animals?”
“Can Cricket take me?”
“Oh, no, Cricket’s not ready to leave the house yet,” Cricket says quickly before I can answer.
Lav wrinkles her nose. “Do you need to change? I think you’re beautiful.”
“Thank you.” Cricket shoots a look at me, then shifts it to Lav, then back to me. “I meant I can’t leave…here.”
“Why?”
“Because Cricket has things she needs to do here,” I say instead of giving her the real answer.
Mabel texted the group chat this morning that Cricket’s video is making the rounds again.
Going viral.
Again.
Cricket didn’t ask why her video is suddenly back at the top of the trending list, which is good.
We all agree she’s not ready to hear about the Cheeky Beaver channel and how her video has had a resurgence in popularity every time the fucker running the channel has posted a new video.
Lav juts her chin out. “Cricket doesn’t have any chores. I heard Samantha say so.”
“It’s not always about chores. Sometimes grown-ups have to do things to take care of themselves. Like a lot of our friends here do.”
“But it’sballoon animals.”
“I did a lifestyle segment on kid birthday parties once and learned how to make balloon animals,” Cricket says. “It’s okay. Your dad should learn instead.”
Lavender squints at me. “Do you already know how to make balloon animals?”
“Some,” I reply. “Always happy to learn more.”
“You know how to make balloon animals?”
“Some. Because I took a class once. Just like you can take a class today.”
“You can teach me and Cricket can teach me and then we don’t have to leave either. I need to take care of myself.”
“I have to spend more time in the garden,” Cricket says. “But thank you for thinking of me.”
Lav turns her squint on Cricket. “Youhaveto garden?”
“I do. It’s what I have to do for me next.”
“Grown-ups are so complicated. I’m never growing up.”
“That’s a fantastic goal,” Cricket says.
