Page 208 of You've Got Hate Mail
“That’s perhaps a possibility.”
“My friend Leland says that his mom has three boyfriends, but only one makes funny dog noises in her bedroom. She used to have four, but one died.”
Cricket’s mouth opens, then closes, and she looks at me.
I look at Lav. “Leland? Leland, whose mom is Jennifer?”
“Yeah.”
“He told you that?”
“Yeah.” She munches on her sandwich and stares at me. “Then he had to go talk to the principal.”
“Was he close with his mom’s boyfriend who died?” Cricket asks.
“No, he was on the beach.”
It takes a hot second, but I start to catch on. “He died on the beach?”
“Daddy, keep up. Leland’s still alive.”
“Leland’s mom’s boyfriend. Did Leland’s mom’s boyfriend die on the beach?”
“No, he died in the ocean. He got ate by a shark. Leland was on the beach.”
Cricket and I look at each other.
I’m itching to hit the internet to see if someone actually died by shark bite recently. Don’t think so, but I haven’t been watching the news closely.
“I did a lifestyle segment once on people who save marine animals that wash ashore,” Cricket announces.
“How do they wash the shore?” Lav asks. “It’s really dirty. That’s a hard job. And why would they? The shore is supposed to be dirty. It’s nature.”
Sometimes Pip and my daughter are one person.
“Wash ashore,” Cricket says. “It means they’re supposed to be in the ocean but the water carries them onto the beach.”
Lav grins like she knew that.
I catch her eye. “Lav, would it upset you if Cricket stayed in my room?”
She furrows her brow. “Would The Cockinator stay in your room too?”
“The Cluckinator and her sisters have their own home now.”
“Can I stay in your room so we can have a sleepover?”
“Sleepovers are more fun with a TV,” Cricket says before I can formulate an answer.
But this—this, I can go with. I nod gravely. “They are. And we don’t have TVs in our bedrooms.”
Cricket wrinkles her nose. “So I guess we could have sleepovers, but they’ll have to be in the living room.”
Lav looks between us. “Are you trying to trick me?”
“Did you watch TV when you’ve had sleepovers at the main house?” Cricket asks her.
Lav’s eyes narrow. “Yes. Ginny has a TV in her room. So we could put a TV in our bedrooms.”
