Page 213 of You've Got Hate Mail
My mouth goes dry, except it feels like my teeth are sweating.
Teeth can’t sweat.
Oh my god.
I’m having a stroke.
“Put. That. Down,” Heath growls.
If everyone in the entire building hasn’t turned to look at him now, I will eat my own underwear.
I’m stuck between wanting to hide my face and needing to watch.
He shouldn’t be doing this, but I’m glued to this chair and my mouth doesn’t work and I can’t help him.
“Dude, do you know who that chick is?” Cowboy Hat says.
“She showed her va—ulp.”
“Mind. Your own. Fucking. Business.” Heath’s pulled the guy out of his chair and is dangling him by the collar.
Whispers spread like fire through the room.
My face is so hot that the tear that slips down my cheek feels like ice. I slink lower in my seat and angle my face down so that my hair is a curtain.
“Put him down,” Cowboy Hat says.
“Delete. The. Pictures,” Heath says. “And then get the fuck out of here.”
“You can’t tell us what to do.” Cowboy Hat takes a swing at him, but Heath catches his fist, still holding the other guy six inches off the ground, and does some twisting thing that has Cowboy Hat bent double and panting.
It’s terrifying and comforting at the same time.
He’s going to get arrested.
He’s defending me, and he’ll get arrested for it, and then it’ll make the news, and his in-laws will hear, and?—
“Is she famous?” someone whispers.
“It’s the Cheeky Beaver lady,” someone else whispers.
“She’s a normal person who gets to have a normal fucking lunch. Understood?” Heath growls at the room at large.
“Problem, Heath?” a woman with dark curly hair and a Foxwood Public House polo says.
“These two are taking pictures of my date.”
“Public land, asshole,” Cowboy Hat says.
He’s still bent double and panting under the pressure Heath’s putting on his arm.
“Private bar,” the woman replies. “We don’t take pictures of people in here. Get out.”
Heath drops the first guy and releases Cowboy Hat.
The woman looks in the direction that the lastit’s the Cheeky Beaver ladycame from. “Everyone’s welcome here unless they’re dicks. You gonna be dicks too?”
I stifle a noise as I realize Cowboy Hat’s preparing to hit Heath, but Heath’s on it.
