Page 51 of A Castle in the Sky: Fern & Connor
He lay awake with their child between them, arm wrapped around the woman he'd already lost, listening to the quiet creaks and sighs of the house that would never be their home. Every time Coral twitched in her dreams, her heel digging into his shin, he thought,Yes, this is what I'm fighting for.
His family. If only he had woken up sooner.
And in the darkness, with Fern's hair damp under his cheek and his promises hanging between them like thin, fragile glass, Connor finally understood that wanting to be better wasn't enough.
He'd have to prove it. And there was every chance it wouldn’t be nearly enough.
Chapter 26
Connor opened his eyes to a pair of golden, solemn eyes inches from his own.
For a moment, he didn't understand where he was—just the pale square of morning light on the ceiling, the ache behind his eyes, and this small, serious, elfin face hovering over him, curls a wild halo.
Then his eyes focused and Coral's little features snapped into place—his eyes, Fern's mouth, a smear of toothpaste at the corner of her lip.
"Hi, baby," he croaked. "Have you been eating the toothpaste again?"
She wrinkled her little nose, leaning back just close enough to inspect him while ignoring his question. "Da stinky."
His mouth twitched. "Wow. Big word. Stinky."
She grinned, pleased with herself, and immediately held up her bandaged hand between them. "Boo-boo."
"I know." His baby had been hurt, and he had been chasing shadows, his guilt not letting him face her. The bandage was bright against her skin, big on that tiny wrist. Useless, the word flickered through him, hot and bitter. Useless as a dad when she'd needed him most.
"Will you show me how to do that?" he asked quietly.
"Don' wanna," she said at once, carefully curling her injured hand back to her chest.
"I know you don't," he said. "But I want to see. Can you let me? Just to look? I promise I'll be gentle."
She studied him for a few seconds with those big, solemn eyes. Then she nodded once, the decision made. "Okay. Da wanna hug?"
Connor couldn't speak for a second. He didn't deserve to be forgiven, but Coral was too small to understand what had actually gone down. All she sensed was that he needed a hug, and so did she. He lifted the duvet, and she snuggled next to him for a few wonderful minutes while he combed a not-quite-steady hand through her curly chestnut hair. It was a few moments of bliss before Coral got restless and squirmed out of his embrace.
He pushed himself upright, every muscle in his back complaining, and swung his legs out of bed. Coral immediately reached for his hand with her good one.
"Come on, poppet," he muttered, rubbing his eyes. "Let's go find Mum."
They took the stairs together, Coral's little feet thumping on the carpeted steps, his bare ones cold on the edges of the boards.
In the kitchen, Harlan and Fern were already up. The kettle was boiling; there was a cardboard box on the table, half-filled with crumpled newspaper and the good plates. The radio murmured quietly in the background, some presenter talking about roadworks and festive traffic.
Fern stood at the table wearing worn jeans and a thin T-shirt, her hair piled on top of her head in a messy knot with a pen stuck through it. Stray curls escaped around her neck. The T-shirt hung a little loose over her frame, emphasising how much weight she'd lost.
Harlan was at the counter, rummaging in a drawer for tape. "Knew I bought some two days ago," he muttered. "Gremlins must eat the stuff."
They both looked up as the floorboard in the doorway creaked under Connor's weight.
Fern's gaze skimmed over him, then dropped to Coral. "Morning, chicken," she said softly. "You snuck out of bed again. Have you been at the toothpaste again?"
"Da stinky," Coral informed her gravely, and then, as if that dealt with the matter, climbed up on a chair and reached for the yoghurt tub on the table.
Harlan's mouth twitched, but when his eyes flicked to Connor, they were still like a winter morning.
Connor cleared his throat. "Does Coral need a dressing?"
Fern nodded. "Yeah. It's due." She turned to their daughter. "Ready, love?"
