Page 71 of A Castle in the Sky: Fern & Connor
"Any news on her?" The question was perfunctory, every fibre of him didn't want to know. He just wanted to be prepared to protect his family.
Sawyer hesitated. "There was a query about her mental capacity, so she is still sectioned. Psych ward for a while." His shoulders sagged. "She hates it. Keeps asking for—"
"I don't want to know," Connor said.
Sawyer nodded immediately. "Yeah. Right. He is in the backyard."
Jacob was in the back garden, kicking a ball into a small goalpost. Thud. Thud. Thud.
His blonde hair was longer than when Connor had last seen him, and when he looked up, his eyes were wiser than a now-ten-year-old's should be.
He had spotted Connor watching him through the screen door, but turned away like he hadn't.
Sighing, Connor stepped outside.
After a minute, Jacob kicked the ball harder, sending it skidding across the grass to Connor's feet.
Connor trapped it with his boot and kicked it back. Jacob returned it with a quick glance. No words, just quiet thuds against their trainers and the soft scrape of grass.
"I'm sorry that I had to leave without saying goodbye," Connor said finally. "Coral... She was hurt, and I had to take care of her."
Jacob kept his gaze glued to the ball. "S'okay."
"I should have told you what was going on," Connor said.
They kicked a few more times in silence.
"Everyone leaves," Jacob muttered suddenly.
Connor stopped the ball beneath his foot. "No. Not everyone." He hesitated before he continued, "But things aren't good between your mum and me. And I... I can't be around her anymore."
Jacob's head snapped up, wounded. "What about me? What did I do wrong?"
Connor felt the helplessness in his chest. There were no winners in this battle. Jacob was innocent in all of this, but he was the one suffering.
He crouched to Jacob's level. "You did nothing wrong." He waited until Jacob's eyes flicked up, even briefly. "You hear me? Nothing."
Jacob sniffed, kicking the ground. Connor watched as a tear slid down his pink cheek. "But... Mum left. The police took her away. All my mates at school are talking about it. Then, you left, and you never came back."
"I can still be your friend," Connor admitted. "But you have Uncle Sawyer. He's always been there for you, as much as your mum let him be. He never left you."
Jacob looked conflicted, torn between loyalty and longing.
"Let me ask you something," Connor said gently. "If you had to choose between your mum and me... who would you pick?"
Jacob swallowed. "I... I don't know. Mum, I guess."
"That's the truth," Connor said. "And that's okay. Just like I would pick the ones I loved the most, right? My wife and daughter. But we can still be friends. I just can't be around your mum. We just don't get along. And I am sorry for that."
They sat in the grass for a while, the ball resting between them.
"Are you my dad?" asked Jacob, his eyes on a slug making a slow climb up a blade of grass.
"No, Jacob, I am not. Your dad is out there, looking for you. And when he finds you, you will be glad it's him because he is going to be as awesome as you are."
The reply felt inadequate, but it was all he could think of. He had gone over what this conversation might be like with Fern and thought about what he wanted to say. Fern had supported him with this decision to meet with Jacob, at least to give him closure.
Suddenly, he was reminded of the unopened letter waiting at the bottom of his underwear drawer.
