Page 99 of Til Death
“By the look on your face I assume you don’t know that either. Is she handling the pregnancy okay? Your mother had a hard time in the beginning with you.”
I didn’t have an answer for him.
“Yosiah.” Disappointment planted itself on Dad’s face and in his voice.
“Do you still not see her as good enough to be the mother of your child?”
“That’s not it,” I rushed out. “Not anymore. While I still don’t know the kind of mother Xylina might be, I’ve seen things the past few months that have made me see things differently.” I thought about the times Xylina cried and showed her vulnerable side. The way she went above and beyond when she put her mind to something. Hell, even how she treated her dog. Princess was treated better than some kids. She threw a fit to make sure the room connected to hers was converted specifically for Princess to have and enjoy.
“Then what is it?”
When I didn’t respond, he continued. “You have the right to be upset, but at the same time you’re about to be a father. Making sure your wife doesn’t have a stressful pregnancy is your top priority. I know you’ve always wanted to have a family ofyour own. While this might not be the way you saw it happening, itishappening. Your wife is pregnant withyour childat the end of the day. You need to talk to her and have a clear understanding. Me and your mother didn’t raise you to be a deadbeat. Whether you decide to stay with her or divorce and co-parent doesn’t matter. You two are bonded together for life now and you need to step up and be there for her and your kid. Stop tucking your feelings inside and shutting down. Voice how you feel and handle shit head on. That’s how we raised you.”
“And if my initial worries were right and she turns out to be a bad mom, then what?”
“Then you pick up her slack and make sure your kid is good. Unfortunately, planned or not, there’s never a guarantee both parents will be good ones. There’s always a chance one will fall short and the other will have to step up. But counting on her to fail before she even gets the chance isn’t fair either.”
I knew he was right. Dad often talked with reason. He was the perfect mediator in most situations. I regretted not coming to talk to him sooner.
“I think I messed up last night, in a big way,” I said, dropping my eyes to the floor. I couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling that last night was another turning point for me and Xylina but not in a good way.
“Then find a way to make it right. Nothing is solved without communication, Yosiah.”
Again, he wasn’t wrong. I knew that, but part of me feared what I would remember from the previous night.
“Just allow yourself to open up and hear your wife out. Making choices based on emotions won’t help anyone. Go in with a clear head when talking to her and come out with a real resolutiontogether.”
I tapped my finger on my knee. “Mom’s gonna have a heart attack when she hears the news.”
For the first time, me and Dad shared a laugh. While I knew my mom would love my kid and take the role of a grandmother seriously, knowing Xylina as the mother might take some time to settle. The tension between them was something I would worry about later.
I finished up at Dad’s house not too much later and headed home. It was time to stop sulking and make things right in my household.
It was quiet when I stepped inside my house. The staff was gone for the day, so it was to be expected. Xylina’s G Wagon was parked out front, so I knew she was home. It was time for us to sit down and have a real conversation. I’m ashamed to say after talking to my dad and driving home to reflect on it, I realized that me and Xylina have never sat down like two adults and had a real conversation about the two of us. Our whole marriage I remained too deep into my resentment to care about anything but the day the contract ended and I could divorce her peacefully. It never dawned on me to be an adult about the situation and actually talk to my wife.
First going to the kitchen to grab a water, I took the elevator to the second floor, going over exactly what I wanted to say to Xylina. Although I wasn’t happy with how it happened, Iamexcited to finally be a father. It took me some time but what had been done was done now, so the only thing we could do was move on and figure out what to do next.
When I got to Xylina’s door, it was slightly cracked and I could hear her moving around inside.
Inhaling a deep breath and pushing it out, I reminded myself not to go into the room being confrontational and to have anopen mind. Giving the door a couple taps, I pushed it open and called out to her.
Xylina jumped, spinning around looking like a deer caught in headlights.
“Yosiah!” she squeaked.
Lifting a brow and pinching my lips together, I gave her a once over before dropping my eyes to the small box that fell on the floor. When I looked back at Xylina, all the color had drained from her face and panic exploded in her eyes.
She launched forward as if someone lit a fire under her, snatching the box up.
Something about this situation wasn’t sitting right with me. A knot twisted in my gut. Tightness filled my chest.
I took a step forward, giving the room a once over then focusing back on my wife who stood still as a statue, watching me like a frightened bird. She swallowed thickly, shifting her eyes to the floor. Xylina was a confident woman. She normally stood tall and took things head on. Seeing her right now only confirmed my suspicions, she was up to something and I wasn’t leaving this room until I found out what it was.
CHAPTER 23
Xylina
Fuck.
