Page 137 of Ruthless Sin
She sets the tray on the side table. Walks out without speaking.
I get up and walk to the bathroom on legs I cannot feel, and kneel on the cold tile over the toilet. Nothing comes out. My body’s empty.
I sit on the tile. I press my back against the porcelain. My hands shake.
I cry again. Harder this time. The kind that hurts. My whole body shaking. I bite the inside of my arm to keep it quiet.
The bread is still on the side table when I come out.
I don’t eat it.
Sofia knocks at dusk.
Two knuckles. Soft.
I open the door and her eyes hold mine for one beat and her mouth softens.
‘I lost a sister too,’ she says. Quiet. ‘For a while. I’m here.’
I break.
The sob comes out of me before I can stop it. Loud. Ugly. The first sound I’ve made in days that came out clean.
Sofia steps into the doorway. She doesn’t ask. She puts her arms around me.
She’s small. She’s strong. She holds me up while I cry into her shoulder.
She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t shush me. She just holds.
I cry until my body has nothing left.
Sofia steps back. She wipes the wet from her own cheeks. She reaches up and touches the corner of my mouth with her thumb. Younger-sister gesture.
She walks away.
I close the door.
I’m here.
I have a sister in this house.
The deep hours.
I haven’t slept.
I get out of bed. I walk down to the kitchen.
My legs do it before I’ve decided to.
Nonna is at the stove.
She’s not cooking. She’s standing there in her robe with her hair wrapped. She turns when she hears me.
She isn’t surprised.
She’s been waiting for me.
“Come here,ma chère.”
