I move my mouth back down. Collarbone, sternum, ribs, stomach, hipbone. I have nowhere else to be tonight.
I kiss the inside of her right thigh.
She trembles.
Inside her left thigh.
She trembles again.
I move lower, between her legs.
She’s wet. She’s already wet and I haven’t even touched her yet.
Fuck.
I look up at her face one more time.
She’s watching me.
I lower my mouth to her.
I’ve barely touched my tongue to her when she goes rigid.
Her whole body locks.
Her hand flies to her mouth.
Not the sound this time.
Something else.
I lift my head immediately.
“Mila.”
She’s not looking at me. She’s looking at the ceiling. Her hand is over her mouth. Her other hand has gone to her stomach.
Her voice comes out muffled. Low. Fast. Panicked.
“Net. Ya... ya ne...”No. I’m... I’m not...
I move up the bed immediately. I don’t touch her. I sit beside her.
“Mila. Look at me.”
She doesn’t.
Her breath is coming too fast. Her whole body is shaking.
I keep my voice low. Calm.
“Posmotri na menya, pozhaluysta.”Look at me, please.
It takes her a long time.
Then she does.
Her eyes are wet. Her hand is still over her mouth.