Page 40 of Ruthless Sin
I open them. One finger at a time.
His exhale comes out too long.
“Are you all right?” His voice is careful. “Do you need.” He swallows. “Tell me what you need,cara.”
I don’t move from the doorway.
He waits. I step inside. I close the door behind me.
The latch is loud.
His eyes close. When they open, the look is different. Relief so sharp it looks like pain.
“Okay.” Small nod. “The lamp. On or off?”
Not a question. An order I am allowed to give.
The lamp shows me his shoulder. The slope of his collarbone. It shows me to him.
“On.”
My voice is hoarse.
Relief crosses his mouth. He flattens it. “It stays on.”
His hand goes back to the sheet, the fingers curling white at the knuckles.
I take a step toward the bed, and his knuckles go whiter.
I cross the room.
He sets the book on the nightstand. As I pass the foot of the bed, he has moved to his edge. A foot of mattress on my side.
I walk to the wall side and look down at the bed.
Then I lie on top of the covers, facing the wall.
Behind me, his breath catches.
“Cristo.” Barely a sound.
There is a foot of mattress between us. His breath is to my right and the lamp burns on the wall in front of me.
His heat reaches me from here. The dress is too thin. My nipples have hardened against the fabric. The wet has soaked through the underwear I haven’t let myself think about since I put it on this evening.
He breathes a long time before he speaks.
“You don’t have to do anything.” His voice has dropped. The gravel I didn’t know was there. “Tap the mattress twice. If you want me to stop talking.”
I don’t answer.
“I have kept the doors open since the night I heard you scream.” He pauses. “Not waiting. I wouldn’t let myself wait. I wanted you to be able to come through if you needed to.”
“I’m not going to touch you tonight,cara.” Rougher. Tighter. “If you want my hand. You tell me. With your mouth.”
His fist goes into the sheet. The fabric protests.
“Cazzo.” Through his teeth. “Not because I don’t want to.”
