Page 36 of Wicked Angel
“He’s not,” I admitted. “But we’re a disaster right now. We can’t be friends yet. Maybe not ever?”
Shayla gave me a sad look. “You don’t know that.”
“Either way, I can’t stay with him in the apartment anymore. You were so, so right. What was I thinking?”
“You were thinking what you always do.” Shay smoothed a chunk of my disastrous hair behind my ear and gave me a crooked, fond smile. “That everything would end up okay.”
I fell into her arms then, and sobbed on her shoulder for a bit. I’d never cried so much in my life. But then again, I’d never had my heart broken like this before. I thought I knew what heartbreak was, all the times I was crushing on someone who didn’t like me back.
That was child’s play.
I’d just had a real, several year relationship with a man who loved me, and couldn’t make it go the distance. Worse, I’d hurt him, time and again. I’d hurt us both, without ever meaning to.
Nothing I’d ever felt in my life had ripped my heart apart like this.
“You know what,” Shayla said softly. “Some things do end up okay, though. Better than okay. You know why?”
I sat up and looked at her. “Why?”
“Because you’re going to live right here. With me.”
I laughed through my tears a little. I was such a freaking mess. “I wish,” I sniffled. “And I love you for saying that. But I can’t afford this place.”
She made atssshtsound, like that fact meant nothing. “Whocanafford this place.”
“Well… your brother.”
Johnny had bought this property, next door to his, and had this house custom built on it. Shayla couldn’t afford it either, but Johnny had paid for it. She said his plan was to eventually sell it, but we all knew he’d let Shayla live here forever if she wanted to.
As far as I could tell, the only warm spot Johnny O’Reilly had was for his sister.
She rolled her eyes. “This is my house. You’re staying.”
I wanted to raise some kind of protest, but I really didn’t have any left in me. Where else would I go?
I was so fucking tired right now. Already. And the day had barely started. I wasn’t even doing anything with my life yet.
I watched her gather up the underwear she’d dropped on the bed and head into her walk-in closet, then come back out with clothes slung over her arm.
“Shayla… thank you. I mean, if it’s really okay with you…”
She met my eyes seriously. “I insist.”
“I’ll repay you, somehow.”
“I’m not worried about that. You just take care of you, and the rest will work out.”
She headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready for her day, and I fell back on the bed.
I knew Shayla believed what she said. But I also knew that she really didn’t understand what I was going through. Her family had always taken care of her, but she’d never ask them not to. It didn’t make her uncomfortable, at all, letting her brother and her parents pay her way until she could do it herself. If that day ever came—or not—seemed immaterial to her.
I really envied her. Shayla O’Reilly’s self-worth was so unshakable, she didn’t ever feel the need to apologize for taking up space.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess right now,” I told her after she reemerged from the bathroom, dressed in her dancing clothes, leggings and a tank top. I watched her brush out her strawberry-blonde hair in front of the wall mirror. “I won’t always be this needy. I promise.”
“It’s okay to need things, Angeline.” She turned to look at me sympathetically. “And it’s okay to need people, too. You just have to learn when it’s time to let go of the ones you don’t need anymore,” she added gently.
Flynn. I knew she was talking about Flynn.
