Page 74 of Wicked Angel
I wanted to extend trust, to earn trust. But of course, that answer was not the full truth. And in omitting the truth, I realized I wasn’t comfortable enough with Johnny to be honest enough to earn his trust anyway. Not on a personal level.
If I was honest with him, he’d know too much.
It would serve neither of us for him to know why Flynn really broke up with me. Or for him to know how much I’d crushed on him when I was young and stupid.
It wasn’t that long ago,Mean Angie reminded me.
I told her to shut up.
ChapterThirteen
Angeline
That evening, I ended up at the mall for the second time in one day. With Courteney.
Because along with realizing that I was not comfortable enough with Johnny to be honest with him, personally, I’d also realized that tossing away my entire collection of personal pleasure devices, if I was going to be meeting with him on any kind of regular basis, was a giant mistake.
Courteney followed me through the small adult store with the blacked-out front window, looking at the items on display with mild curiosity. And mild confusion. We were in the same adult store I’d already bought a new vibe at today. Clearly, I had a problem.
“Does this really feel good?” Courteney asked me, picking up a small, smooth vibe shaped like a computer mouse.
“Never know ’til you try it.” I tossed one in my basket.
“I guess I’d have to try it,” she said distractedly, but she wandered onward. “Is that your new life motto or something?” She smirked a little. “‘Never know ’til you try it’?”
“In the bedroom, mostly. And for your information, it’s not new.”
“Oh.” She looked intrigued. “Really?”
“I told Flynn I’d try anything once. I meant it.”
“Ohh.” I could see Courteney’s imagination working overtime on that one. “Wow. Lucky guy.”
“He didn’t seem to think so.”
She followed me in silence to the next display. “So, you guys really weren’t very compatible that way, huh?”
“Nope.” I dropped a cock ring in my basket. No idea why, since I didn’t have a cock to put it on. But it was on sale.
Besides, Flynn never would’ve put a cock ring on for me. For some reason, that was annoying me right now.
I really should’ve taken my own advice:It’s water under the bridge. Just let it go.
I sighed. “Okay, can I just say it? Flynn and I were not compatible lovers. We weren’t. And I tried to sugarcoat that pill to make it go down easier for a long, long time.”
Courteney listened, looking like she felt very sorry for me and my sad sex life. Because of course, she and her husband were like feral rabbits. Their sex life was so hot, Courteney blushed when she talked about it.
“The idea that men are always horny,” I went on, “always high testosterone, always hard and ready, and always thrilled with a woman who has a super high sex drive, is not true. Not for all men. Clearly. And the idea that only women use sex as an emotional weapon? Also bullshit. Believe me.”
“He really, uh, did a number on you about that, huh?”
“Yeah. He did. I let him.” I turned to her. “Look, Flynn is an amazing guy. You know I don’t want to trash talk him. He’s got a good heart. And he’s going to make some woman really happy. He’s a super solid, steadfast type, and someone will adore him for it. He’s just not… my type.”
“I know,” she said sadly. She’d heard it all before. I really didn’t need to explain it all to her. But sometimes, I did need to vent.
“But I’m done now,” I went on. “We’re done. And I need to find Angie again.” I looked at some fuzzy handcuffs, then moved on. Really, who was gonna lock me up in them? “Ugh. This is weirdly depressing.” I tossed the cock ring back on a shelf. “What am I even doing?”
“You’re shopping,” she said firmly, putting the cock ring back in my basket. “And you’re having fun. With your B.O.B..”
