Page 30 of Flames and Flowers
He said nothing.
“It’s on my phone. Did you hear me? I kept it. Aren’t you mad?”
“Why do you want me to be mad?”
“I wanna fuck her,” I pressed, just trying to dig in hard enough that he dug back. “I wanna fuck your wife. Would you let me? If she wanted to?”
It was not my finest hour. I was embarrassingly drunk. As beautiful as she was, as much as I fucking loved her, as much as I’d wanted her for what felt like forever, I couldn’t have fucked his wife right now if she was spread out before me.
Ash just looked at me. He didn’t get mad. He looked like he felt bad for me, which just made it worse.
“Matt…” He kissed me on the forehead, and I died a thousand deaths at the feel of his lips on my skin. So close.
Never close enough.
“Matt, you know we both love you.” He hesitated, and I held him there, clinging to his shirt as we breathed each other in.
I didn’t want to let him go.
But then he let me go.
ChapterSeven
Matt
Let’s call a truce. We have an album to finish. Love, M.
That was what I wrote on the note I left on Ash and Danica’s kitchen counter before I left their place the next morning. Because if we kept going the way we were, I was gonna die of heart failure at the ripe age of thirty-two. Someone had to wave the white flag and surrender already.
Put down our weapons and back away.
For now.
To say Ash was pissed at me, though, would’ve been a gross understatement.
“You get your truce,” he told me, yanking me into the men’s room in the studio as soon as he saw me on Monday morning. “Because it’s what’s best for the band, for the album, and for Danica.For now.Because you’ve got some shit to sort out, Matt. We all know it. But when the album’s done, we’re addressing this thing.”
I knew he was right.This thingreally wasn’t going anywhere, and sometime, we needed to deal with it. Sober and honestly.
All three of us.
But because he was right, we agreed to leave it alone.
For now.
* * *
The album was done four long months later.
Ash was also right about the album—it was important. It was the Players’ debut album. We all wanted,neededit to be incredible.
And I didn’t want him to be able to use it as an excuse anymore.
I wanted him to drop his excuses, and I wanted to drop mine.
As it turned out, the album was phenomenal. Better than I dreamed it could be. And now it was officially in the hands of the record company for distribution.
In my mind, that meant the path was cleared. The one that started wherever I was and ended in Ash and Danica’s arms.
