Page 273 of Handsome Devil
“It did?” Her hand dropped from her face.
“Yeah. I left that party with Kelli and some friends. We were going to this afterparty at Johnny O’s, but a bunch of us stopped off on the way to Johnny’s, to pick up booze. At my place. Or, you know, my dad’s place. I was outside smoking up with some of the guys and then I couldn’t find Kelli. So I went looking for her, and there she was. With my dad. In his office.”
“Whoa. And they were…?”
“Definitely. He fucked her. I caught them going at it.”
Devi’s jaw dropped. “But… he knew… she was there with you? She was your date?”
“Oh, yeah. I introduced them about twenty minutes before I caught them screwing. For all I know it wasn’t the first time they met. I used to have parties at that house. Lots of girls there. And my dad would hang around sometimes. I should’ve known. I think I just didn’t want to believe it… until I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Uh… yeah. I get that. Who would want to believe something like that?”
“It was like he never grew up,” I said bitterly. “He was still in college, the big man on campus, banging the local high school cheerleaders.”
“Damn,” Devi said. “That’s… disgusting.”
“Yeah. I’m aware of that.”
“Was he… taking advantage of her?”
“I don’t think it was like that. She was eighteen, and from what I saw, she was all over him. I heard they dated a bit after that. Shane said so. He used to run into my dad and some of his buddies, here and there. He’d update me sometimes on whatever was going on out here, whether I wanted him to or not.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. But it’s the past, right? I lost all remaining respect for my dad that night, believe me. Got on that plane the next morning, and never came back to Vancouver until this year. When I left, I seriously didn’t want to ever see him again.”
“He’s never tried to make amends with you?” she asked gently. “Apologize?”
“Apologize? Not exactly. Make amends? Yes. I mean, he’s tried to reach out to me. Maybe one day I’ll take that call. So far though, nope.”
“Well… I’m glad you’re willing to speak to me,” she said. I knew she was teasing. “Since, you know, I was part of that horrible night in your life.”
“Devi, you were the only good thing that happened to me that night. That whole year, really. And just like when you blazed into my life that first day of senior year… you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long, long time. Actually, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Dane… I wish I could just say thank you for that. It’s sweet. But… I don’t know if I deserve it.”
“Trust me. My life was headed for a whole lot of unhappiness when you came along. Both times. You’re helping me correct that course. I couldn’t be more grateful.”
“But… I’ve been hard on you, Dane. And I’ve been thinking about that a lot while you’ve been away. About where that comes from. Because it’s not like you ever reallydidanything to me in high school for me to be so angry about.” She took a breath. “I had such a chip on my shoulder when I met you. And I do think some of it comes from way back. Like I think I’ve been getting mixed messages from my mom all my life, and I’ve let it kind of… harden me.”
“Mixed messages about what?”
“About who I’m supposed to be in a relationship. Which is maybe why I’m not very good at them.”
“Why do you think you’re not good at relationships?” I asked her.
“Let’s see. Because I’m not.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I can count on one hand the people I actually talk to about anything that matters. I have a lot of friends, but they’re mostly just acquaintances, you know? I don’t really know them. And they only know me as that girl who sparkles across the room, like you said. People notice me but they don’t know me. I have a best friend who’s amazing, who knows me better than anyone, because I actually let her.” She hesitated. “And I have a husband I married as part of a business deal because I’ve never wanted anything, even a man, as much as I wanted to succeed in my career. You’ve been my enemy, and kind of my nemesis, and it’s always been that way with us. I can’t trust you because if I did I’d be letting you get too close, maybe I’d start to need you… and what if you get the upper hand?” She gazed at me with her deep, dark eyes, looking vulnerable as hell.
“You mean, what if you fall in love with me?”
“Yeah. That. Don’t laugh. It’s a real concern.”
“I see that.”
