Page 228 of Handsome Devil
“Any time.”
“Let’s see. Slept in. Worked out. Hung with Johnny for a while. Talked to Dane on the phone. Went to a fight. Won a fight. Got drunk. Got laid. Woke up this morning and came here. Why?”
“Just wondering. Do you always win your fights?”
“No. No one always wins. Eventually, everyone has to lose.” He sipped his coffee. “You okay, with Dane gone?”
“I’m fine. I’ve been single forever. This is hardly any different.”
He just looked at me like he pitied me, and I hated it. This was entirely different, and even he knew it.
“Why are you an underground fighter?” I asked him.
“Because that’s what I choose to do.”
I scanned the fresh damage on his face. Couple of dried cuts, one on his lip. Swollen cheekbone. Bruise on his temple. “Doesn’t it suck being beat up all the time?”
For the first time, his eyes got that dark, dangerous gleam in them. “It’s complicated.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that. But it really wasn’t my business.
“What would you do for Dane,” I asked him, “if he asked you to?”
“Probably anything. Short of assassinating someone, maybe.” He looked me up and down briefly. “Or fuckingyouover.”
Hmm. Honesty and just the right amount of kissing ass. Good.
His intentions seemed good here.
I tried to look at him objectively for a moment. His thick, dark, wavy hair. His pale eyes. He had the most beautiful, tan tone to his skin; it made his eyes look otherworldly. So many girls were crazy about Shane in high school. Like, could barely look him in the eye because they found him so intimidating, that kind of crazy. I didn’t find him intimidating. Not like that.
Shane always smiled at me when he met my eyes. He was a charmer. I could handle charmers.
I’d only found him intimidating because of his best friend.
I watched him sip his coffee. “Did you ever really like me, Shane?” I asked him, point blank.
He took a moment before answering that. “I didn’t dislike you.”
“Why did you ask me to grad?”
He shrugged. “Because I could. You could’ve said no.”
“Yes, I could’ve.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Did you like me?”
“No, Shane. I did not like you. I mean, I didn’t dislike you.”
His eyes sparkled, maybe with amusement. “Have you always been in love with him?”
I looked at my coffee. “I’m not sure. I’ve never felt any of the things that I feel for him for another human being. The hate. The… whatever it is. I really don’t know how or when it started. Maybe it was just always there. I don’t know if it was always love. It was… something, though.”
When I looked up, a strange look had overcome his face. Like… sympathy?
