Page 72 of Filthy Beautiful
But I was twenty-three when my life really fucking changed. When I hooked up with Cary Clarke and Gabe Romanko.
The two of them were best friends, had an incredible vibe between them. We hit it off, and they hired me. At the same time, they brought in Dean Slater as our lead singer. And the four of us formed a band that would finally make my career as a drummer explode out of the local music scene.
Alive.
We cut one album; one very successful album. We toured the fucking world and back, starting out by opening shows for bigger bands, and by the end of the tour, we were headlining our own. Things went crazy well for us… until the end.
I still didn’t like to think about that end.
Really, there was a part of me that understood why Cary had gotten sostuckthere… and just never recovered.
And, there was a part of me that wished I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.
Any of it.
I wanted to be here, be close to him, do whatever I could to make sure he was gonna be okay.
But I also wanted to roll the fuck on with my life. Pursue every dream I had as a drummer.
Not ever get stuck where he was.
Iwantedto join Ashley Player’s band.
If you asked me, Ash was the hottest vocalist to come out of Vancouver since Dirty’s lead singer, Zane Traynor. Which was saying a fuck of a lot.
I’d never really known Zane, personally, until recently. Steel Trap had toured with Dirty, last winter, for the very first time. We’d filled in on the North American leg of their current world tour when the Penny Pushers pulled out. Apparently, Ash’s band was having serious problems. And even though shit was such a mess with my own band, that tour was the most fun I’d had since playing and touring with Alive.
Dirty washuge, and that tour gave me the chance to play in front of some of the biggest audiences I’d ever played for. It gave me another taste of the good life. And it just highlighted for me why I needed to break loose from Steel Trap and find another band.
It was time to go big or go home.
Earlier this summer, while I was home on a tour break, Ash had asked me to join the new band he was forming. The Penny Pushers had officially broken up, and he was putting together something new with his DJ/keyboardist ex-girlfriend, Summer Sorenson.
It was a fucking tempting offer, from moment one.
I didn’t tell him that, though.
I wasn’t gonna make this that easy for him. Because unfortunately for me, he’d once chosen another drummer over me, and unfortunately for him, I had a long-ass memory.
Payback’s a bitch, right?
Anyway, making a decision like this was a big fucking deal.
I wanted to make the decision, but I was fucking gun-shy.
It was a major commitment, joining a band. Especially at this point in my career.
It sucked that I’d just been through another band breakup. Even if I didn’t want to be part of Steel Trap anymore, it felt like another failure.
How many times was I gonna put everything I had into a band, only to have it fall apart, through no real fault of my own?
If I joined a band with Ash and Summer, would it last?
Would we stay together, no matter what?
Because no doubt, shit would probably hit the fan again. Egos, drama, fucking tragedy… I’d been through all of it in bands.
Maybe I’d be through all of it again. And again.
