Page 209 of Filthy Beautiful
“The fuck do you mean?”
“I mean, that is not why she wanted to fuck you. She wanted to fuckyou, right? She definitely never askedmeto punch that V-card.” He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender as he read the look on my face. “Just sayin’.”
“So… what do I do?”
“About what?”
“Told you. I can’t stop thinking about her. And yes, it’s a fucking problem.”
“Why? Why do you need to stop thinking about her? Why do you need to stop fucking her?”
“Because she was a virgin. Did you not hear me? She’s too good for me. And Cary fucking knows… It’s a whole fucking disaster.”
Trey just stared at me.
“What?”
“Naw, man,” he concluded. “You’ve just gotta be honest with yourself. About what the fuck you are. And what you want.”
“Okay. So what the fuck am I? According to her, I’m a pig and a slut.”
“Really? Who else have you been fucking?”
I just stared at him blankly. Then I slugged back the rest of my drink. “I dunno. Fucking no one.”
“You’re a wreck.” He chuckled.
“And your point would be…?
“You’re like… an emotional virgin, man. Welcome to the world of grown-ass feelings.”
“’Scuse me? Huh?” I slammed my empty glass on the table and looked around for the waitress.
“It was her first time having sex, right? But you, my man… You’re anemotional virgin,” he enunciated. I tried to listen, but what the fuck was he talking about? “It’s notthinkingabout her that’s got you all fucked-up. It’sfeelingher.” He patted his hand on my chest. “You’ve got all kinds of feelings in there that you don’t know how to deal with, huh?”
“No. No, man. It’s got nothing to do with feelings.”
“You’re obsessed with that little honey? That’s got everything to do with feelings, man. If you didn’t feel anything for her… you’d just forget her. She’s causing you way too much bullshit for you not to be feeling her.”
I shook my head, annoyed. Where was the goddamn waitress? “I’m not fucking feeling her, Trey.”
“Aww now, don’t lie to Dr. Jones while you’re lying there on my leather couch.” He grinned and sipped his water.
I flopped back on the couch. “You’re a dick. You gonna charge me for this now, too?”
“It’s simple, brother. And I’ll tell you this for free.” He leaned on his knees and looked me in the eye. “Emotional. Virginity. You’ve never been penetrated by cupid’s arrow before. Hurts like a real bitch the first time, doesn’t it?”
* * *
I woke up the next day feeling even more fucked-up.
Hungover, too.
By late afternoon, I was still lying around on my couch. Skipped meeting Trey for a workout like I was supposed to.
What the shit was that thing he said about cupid last night?
I’d never been fucked by cupid or something?
