Page 170 of Filthy Beautiful
I sighed.
“Just trying to be honest!” I called after her, throwing her words back at her.
No response.
I filled the coffee maker with water, then wandered back into the bedroom. She was wiggling into her dress, silently fuming. Possibly cursing my name under her breath.
“What Iknow,” I said, calmly, “is that you tell Cary that I just took you to a hotel and fucked your brains out, took your virginity, he’s not exactly gonna break out the champagne.”
“You didn’ttakeanything.I gave it to you.And by the way, I’m eighteen. Despite what you think, I’m not a child. My brother’s not gonna be shocked that I had sex.”
“He’s sure as fuck not gonna like it that you did it with me.”
“Why?”
“Uh, I dunno. Let’s see. Maybe because he told me to stay the fuck away from you? Maybe because you’re his little cupcake and I’ll never be good enough for you? Maybe because four years ago he fell in a goddamn hole and got stuck, and in his mind, you might as well still be fourteen. Hard to argue thatwhenyou fucking act like it.”
She snatched up her purse and stomped over to me. “Is this even about him? Or is it about YOU and him?” She poked me in the chest. “That’s it, right? You’re afraid to face him? Tell him how you feel about me?”
I took a breath. A deep fucking breath. I wasn’t trying to make this shitty for her.
For either of us.
But what the fuck did I expect here, really?
I should’ve known this would happen.
I should’ve fucking known that all that bullshit she fed me aboutIt’s not even a big dealandIt’s just a sex thingwas just that.
Bullshit.
“How I feel about you…” I said, flatly. “And how, exactly, do you imagine I feel about you?”
Her face fell. She sucked in a sharp breath, her bottom lip quivering a bit. “Screw you, Xander. You don’t have to be mean.”
Then she spun and headed for the door.
I fucking sighed again. “Where’re you going? You can stay for fucking breakfast.”
“Nope,” she said, shaking her head as she pulled on her shoes. “If I eat with you right now, I’m just gonna throw up.”
Mature.
“Don’t fucking tell him,” I warned her. “You’ll regret it when he shuts you the fuck out again.”
She spun to face me. “He always shuts me out! What else is new?”
“I’m telling you, Court. You don’t want to do that.”
She huffed, pushing her purse onto her shoulder. “Stop telling me what I want. This isn’t even about him anyway. It’s aboutus.”
“There is nous, sweetheart,” I said, again as gently as I could. “You wanted to lose your virginity. Well, consider it lost.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m not fucking kidding at all.” I held her honey eyes and told her, “I did you a solid, you did me a solid. What more does there have to be to it?”
She gaped at me. “Idid you a solid? What, because I let you put your dick inside me?”
