Page 113 of Filthy Beautiful
When I was fourteen, I was cut wide open by what happened to Gabe, and what happened to my brother because of it. And Xander was the only one who really seemed to understand.
While I was wide open, he’d gotten right under my skin.
Maybe I’d just always be stuck with him, wherever he was.
* * *
The next day was shit. It was the day after Brody’s bachelor party, and Xander hadn’t come home. He’d probably been staying at his condo downtown. Or maybe sleeping over with some girl? Because clearly, he wasn’t staying here.
Now it was Saturday night, and I knew he was at Brody’s wedding.
I was sure there would be a lot of people from the local music industry going. I wasn’t invited, but I didn’t expect to be. I had no idea if my brother was invited.
But he definitely didn’t go.
As usual, he was locked away in his studio.
I was sitting by the pool with a giant pitcher of vodka lemonade, waiting for the rest of the Lil Brat Society to get their butts over here.
By now, I’d convinced myself Xander was definitely fucking someone else. Like since he’d walked out on me two nights ago and left me horny and confused on his bed in the poolhouse… he’d screwed an entire cheerleading squad. In my mind.
If he brought some woman back here with him later tonight—if he actually came back after the wedding—I could not handle it.
I very especially, most definitely could not handle it sober and alone.
So I’d called in my support group.
Angie, Shayla and Larissa arrived just after nine. I could hear the music booming from the speaker in Shayla’s purse before I even opened the front door.
I led them out back and immediately poured them each a vodka lemonade from my pitcher.
“So what happened?” Angie asked me, as we settled in on lounge chairs by the pool. “I have like an hour before my date and I want all the details.”
Right. My best friend had a date tonight. She was going to some party with some hot guy she’d met, and I couldn’t even be happy for her. I mean, I wanted to be, but I was too bummed out.
“Yeah,” Shay said, pulling the speaker out of her purse, “you sounded upset in all those ALL CAPS texts.”
“I’m just freaking out a bit.” I gathered my courage and told them. “Xander hasn’t come back here in two whole days.”
Shay gasped. “He’s on a fuck spree.”
“I mean, I don’t know, but one can only assume.”
“Thatslut,” she said.
“I hate him.” I gulped my drink and tried to ignore the look my friends gave each other.
“I feel like we’re missing a piece of this story,” Angie said, eying me. “Something happened.”
“I made out with him.” I whispered it, like my brother might overhear me. I knew he couldn’t, unless he was hiding in the bushes right behind me. I glanced back; obviously, he wasn’t there.
“You. Absolute.Slut,” Shayla said—with delight. “Iknewyou were into him.”
“Uh-oh,” Larissa said, and she seemed to brace herself. “Did he… punch your V-card…?”
“Please tell me he punched your V-card,” Shayla moaned. “Tell me he ripped that thing to fucking shreds.”
“Ew.” I wrinkled my nose. “Why do you always have to be so… graphic?”
