Page 119 of Hot Mess
She went silent, choking back whatever she was about to say.
“What? It didn’t go any further than that. I put a stop to it. Nothing else happened.”
“Matt Brohmer,” she said, like maybe there was a chance in hell we weren’t talking about the same person.
“Yup. Did you know he’s into dudes?”
“No,” she said, looking right pissed off. “But why should I be surprised? You make straight men bend over.” She took a swig of her martini and set it aside.
“Huh?”
She got up and put her hands on her hips. “Can you just promise me you’re gonna keep your dick in your pants long enough for us to pull this off?”
I blinked at her.
Then I got pissed.
“You know what? Fuck you, Summer.” I got up and went for the door.
But she grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. “Stop.” She sighed. “Just… sit down.”
I sat back down. I leaned my elbows on my knees and looked up at her. “Is this gonna be a lecture? Because if it is, not interested.”
She sat down in her chair, collecting her thoughts, maybe, as she searched my face. “When have I ever lectured you about anything?”
I didn’t answer that. The answer was never.
“I want to do this,” she told me, seriously. “I want to do this with you. I want this band, badly. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this badly, professionally speaking. Which means I need to know you’re in this with me one-hundred-percent.”
“I’m in this with you,” I told her. After sharing the stage with her at DreamWarp, and then standing in the Back Door tonight watching that bar band play their lukewarm Green Day cover, I knew that much. “One-hundred-and-ten-percent. But that means you have to trust me.”
“Okay,” she said carefully. “Say I trust you, and then the next guy comes along and this time you don’t say no.”
“What next guy?”
“The next guy in our band,” she said.
“You say that like every dude you’ve ever met wants a dick up his ass.”
She groaned. “Ashley, I’ve known you for years, which is how I know they all fall in love with you. It’s half the reason we broke up.”
“I thought the reason we broke up was because you didn’t trust me.”
“No, we broke up because I knew sooner or later you’d fall in love with one of them back, and I would never be enough for you. I didn’t want to share you, and deep down, you want to be shared. Just fucking admit that. We’re not together anymore. You can admit it.”
I felt my jaw setting. Why the fuck was she bringing all this shit up now?
Did she really not trust me? After all this time?
“They don’t all fall in love with me,” I said flatly.
“No, you’re just angry because the only oneyouloved didn’t love you back.”
I stared at her.
What. The. Fuck.
Who the fuck did she think she was, saying that me? It was fucking true, but it was none of her goddamn business. She was my friend, and yes I’d talked to her about Dylan, after the fact. But whoever I loved was none of her business anymore.
