Page 206 of Hot Mess
Of course she did. Because she was so fucking nice.
“Yeah, but there are some things you don’t know. Things I need to explain to you. Because you need to know. You deserve that much, and I need to know if you still want to be here at the end of what I have to tell you.”
“Okay. I’m listening.”
“For starters,” I said, “here’s the thing you need to understand about Summer and me. You know we’re starting a band together. We’re pretty tight. But we’re just friends. Good friends, but it wasn’t always that way. It took us a while to become friends after we broke up. That was about four years ago. We were together almost two years. She was the most serious girlfriend I’ve ever had and letting go of that was really fucking hard. Our relationship was pretty incredible for a while, and then it totally wasn’t. We seemed really compatible, but we drifted apart too fast when we weren’t together. She was on the road, I was on the road. The long distance thing sucked. When we did actually break up, it was fast and ugly, but it took a while to sort through.”
“I get it,” Danica said. “I mean, I’ve been through breakups. I know they’re not fun.”
“No, they’re not. But that never really stopped me from trying to make them fun. I, uh, have this stupid tradition of having a party after I break up with someone, to help get over it.”
Her lips quirked. “A party?”
“A party. You know, celebrate my new freedom. I guess it’s my way of shifting gears or distracting myself or whatever it is I need to do to move on. I call it the breakup party. I was having one of those the night I met you, when you were buying roses.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that…”
“I know. I, uh, also had a pretty epic one after breaking up with Summer four years ago. She was here in Vancouver, so I went down to L.A. to get some space. Partied with some friends, ended up back at Zane’s house. You know, Zane Traynor, Dirty’s lead singer?”
“Sure…”
“So… he threw me an epic bash that went all night and the next morning, and then he put my ass on a private jet and sent me up to Alaska.”
“I see,” Danica said. No doubt, the pieces were starting to come together in her head.
“There were four of us on the plane,” I said. “Me and a couple of the guys from my band, the Penny Pushers. Janner and Pepper. And… Johnny O’Reilly was with us, too.” I looked for it, but Danica didn’t show any sign of recognition at the name. “He’s in a band called Breakneck.”
“Oh… I think I’ve heard of them.”
“Probably. They’re pretty big these days. Anyway, the four of us get into Anchorage, and I meet some guys on our way out of the airport… These circus freaks. I mean, I’m not calling them freaks, but that’s what they called themselves. They were members of some traveling freak show. These crazy Persian guys, super friendly, super fun. Turns out we’re at the same hotel, so we end up partying with these guys and their wives—”
“Wait. What kind of circus freaks are we talking about?” Danica asked. “I always wondered. Like… bearded ladies and stuff?”
“No. More like sword swallowers and fire eaters and stuff.”
“Oh. Okay I get it now, I think.”
“So, we’re drinking in the hotel bar and generally making a scene… and then this bachelorette party shows up.”
“The one my sister was at,” she concluded.
“That’s the one. And guess who they decide to party with?”
“The rock stars and the circus freaks?”
“You got it.”
“You must realize this sounds like the set-up for a dirty joke,” Danica said. “Did you ever hear the one about the rock stars, the circus freaks, and the bachelorette party…?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “It does. I swear to you, though, it’s the truth.”
“Okay. So go on. But if a hot nun walks in, I’m going home.”
I grinned. “I would too, if I were you.” Then my smile faded. “I didn’t even meet your sister that night, actually. A few of us guys took off, decided to go night boarding even though the run was closed. We hiked partway up the slope in the dark with our rented snowboards, and me and Pepper ended up stripping down and boarding naked.”
“Oh… shit.”
“Yeah. Not a great idea, very fucking cold. Then later that night, when I’m back at the hotel warming up… I end up having a bit of a three-way with the dude who runs the freak show… and his wife.”
