Page 134 of Dirty Like Zane
“This is your idea of subtle? A private jet and a florist’s entire stock of pinkflowers?”
“Two florists,actually.”
She just shook her head atme.
“You don’t likeit?”
She sighed. “What girl wouldn’t likeit?”
“What was your favorite part?” I asked her, seriously. I was pretty bent on adding more shit to that growing list of things that made herhappy.
She glanced down my body as I pulled on my shirt. “I’d have to say the bed was a nicetouch.”
“Yeah?” Fully dressed, I walked over toher.
“Yeah,” she said as I took her in my arms. “I’ve never mile-highed itbefore.”
I grinned and kissed her. “Fuck, I love defloweringyou…”
“But… I’m still not ready to go public,” she said firmly. “It’s not that I don’t want everyone to know, Zane—intheory.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. The hell did thatmean?
“I don’t like hiding it any more than you do,” she said. “Honestly. I just don’t want to rushthis.”
“This?” I kissed heragain.
“Yeah.” She softened against me. “This thing between us. It’s real and it’s good, and even though I’ve loved you for so long,thisis new. You and me. And when we share it with the world, it’s gonna change. It could be a big change or it could be a small change, but it will change. It’ll be different when everyone knows. And for just a little while, I want this to just beours.”
“Okay, Maggie.” I kissed her on the forehead, then let her go. “But I really don’t think our relationship is gonna change just because peopleknow.”
“I wish that were the case. But I don’t think that’s realistic.” She seemed to consider the look on my face, then sighed. “I know. I’m a buzzkill. I swear, I keep hoping it won’t be a big deal. But literally the day I started wearing the ring, people started asking.” She waved her left hand at me, where she wore the wedding band. “I mean, the girls started asking. Katie. Amber. Even Jessa messaged me from Vancouver to tell me she’d heard, probably from Katie. And Brody keeps doing this thing… Whenever we finish a conversation, he goes silent for a moment, like he’s waiting for me to say something. I don’t, because I’m still figuring out how to explain to him what this is and how it’s not going to affect my job. I just haven’t found the wordsyet.”
“I know,Maggs.”
She gazed up at me, chewing on her lip a bit. “I told the girls that you and I are working on things, privately, and I asked them to give me some space. They were totally supportive, of course. But I keep trying to figure out how to face up to all the little lies I’ve had to tell and answer all their burning questions, and it all just seems so daunting. I don’t even know how I can begin to deal with it and deal with us at the same time, youknow?”
“I think you’re making it a lot harder than it has to be,” I told her,gently.
“Yeah. You know, I used to think that was your domain. You were always making everything too difficult. But now I can see what you mean… I don’t exactly make life easy, doI?”
“You make my life better. That’s all that matters tome.”
Totaltruth.
She smiled at me softly. “Thankyou.”
I wanted to smile back, but it felt wrong. I really, really didn’t want to fuck up all these good vibes we had going between us—for one thing, we were now able to calmly discuss our personal shortcomings without going off on each other, and that was fucking refreshing—but we were heading back to Earth and soon enough, she was gonna turn her phone backon.
So I took her hands in mine. “Maggie… I’ve gotta tell yousomething.”
She stared at me, and as those words and the seriousness of my tone sank in, I could see the trepidation in her eyes. I could feel it as she started to brace herself for theworst.
And what would the worst be, in hermind?
I’d fallen off thewagon?
I’d fucked someoneelse?
